Don't Forget to Play

MONDAY MUSINGS

Silly me.  I was in the middle of writing a blog post last Friday, decided I needed a couple of photos, and was immediately side-tracked by a box full of photos that had nothing to do with what I needed.  Of course I had to drag out the scanner and post a few on Facebook.  What other reason had led me to dig through a box of pictures?  I seem to forget about that blog post.

Yes, I'm sometimes easily distracted, and once distracted, I can become buried in that distraction.  ADD?  I never thought so, but females present different symptoms than males.  Female ADD and ADHD sufferers tend to be a bit spacey in their distractions.  Me, spacey?  No, that's my #2 daughter and her youngest daughter.  And I'm not always easily distracted.  Not, at least, when I'm totally focused on something.  Reading a good book completely holds my attention.

Oh, yeah, back to that unfinished blog post...  I'll find the photos, finish it, and post it this week.

Sometimes I think this being distracted thing may have something to do with not playing enough.  Oh, I'll play a few games of spider solitaire during the day, or a matching game on the computer.  They basically use a different part of the brain that what I'm usually working on.  But play?  No, not so much.  Life has it's Has-To's and Must-Do's and Get-It-Done-ASAP's, leaving little time for play.

Why is it that as adults, we forget to play?  I don't mean watching a favorite TV show each week.  I mean playing.  Going to the park and swinging.  Sitting in the grass and making daisy chains in the summer or having snowball fights in the winter.



My #3 daughter brought me a box of bubbles left over from her wedding reception.  I put it away for the grandkids to play with this summer, when school is out.  Why did I do that?  Why didn't I think of taking out a bottle or two for myself?  Right now?  I LOVE to blow bubbles!

There's something in me that thinks I always need to be doing.  We surround ourselves with Have To's and forget there's always been a little child inside of each of us.  We get older, and people expect us to act like adults.  But what's the fun in that?

These are people having fun!

The Ditzy Chix NYC 2003

How many fun-loving Harlequin authors can a stretch Hummer limo hold?

While I haven't had the opportunity to go to a writers conference lately, I haven't forgotten how much fun it is to cut loose and have a good time with friends.  And the older we get, the more fun we have when we get together!

We're never too old to have fun.

It's time to make time for fun and play!  Anyone up for a game of hopscotch?

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.  ~ Andrew Jackson

On the First Day of Christmas Vacation...

'Tis the Season to Be Grinchy

♪ ♫ ♪ On the first day of Christmas vacation, my family gave to me--♫ ♫ ♪
  ♪ 1 four-year-old who never stops talking or screaming
  ♫ 1 six-year-old who down't know how to speak without shouting
   ♪ 1 nine-year-old who can't understand that "no bouncing the soccer ball in the house" means NO BOUNCING THE SOCCER BALL IN THE HOUSE
   ♫ 1 eleven-year-old who has taken the art of arguing to a whole new level.


My youngest daughter put up our Christmas tree a little over a week ago.  She took it down last night.  That four-year-old thinks the decorations are toys to stick in the sofa, under the TV, or even out the front door.  The boys (6 & 9) think the trashcan is a basketball goal.  Correction: A soccer-ball goal, because they destroyed the basketball long ago.  I'm waiting for the sound of breaking glass.  I've already mopped up the overflow in the bathroom.  And the day isn't over yet, but at least it's half over.

I was born without an abundance of patience.  Or maybe I was, but it's all been used over the past 8+ years, since I offered my daughter of two children, at the time, childcare.  Then came another and another.  I raised four of my own, so I understand how caring for children can run the gamut from terrifying to terrific.  I didn't expect an apocalypse of disasters.  We had our own, many that could have been avoided, but yielded a lesson.  My two oldest daughters learned, after playing with and breaking something that didn't belong to them "for the last time," that mom had a breaking point.  Years later, one Pound Puppy is still missing an ear, and a Cabbage Patch doll an arm.  I can take a lot of abuse, but there's a limit.  They reached it that day, and it's something they've never forgotten.  What we have forgotten is what it was they broke to cause me to lose my cool.

Let's face it, mothers are human.  So are kids.  We all make mistakes, we all lose our temper, although as infrequently as possible.  I'm trying to hold on to mine today.  That, and my mind.

But tomorrow is Saturday, and the little darlings will be gone for the weekend in only a few hours.  I get a reprieve...until Monday, when we'll start all over again.  This year school is out for the holidays for seventeen days.  Yes, that's right, 17.  When I was in school--during the Dark Ages--we were lucky to get ten, and that happened when Christmas fell on Wednesday, as it does this year.

Wait!  There's no sound of a bouncing soccer ball, only the sounds of Family Guy, coming from the living room.  Oh, and a shout from the 6-year-old, but that's not uncommon.  They must be gathering strength for the next wave.  I, on the other hand, am dreaming of tomorrow, when I'll be attending the first college basketball game I've been to in thirty years.  Floor seats.  Under the basket.  On ESPN2.  MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!   I'll get to be the one screaming and shouting, jumping up and down, and maybe catching a basketball, although it might very well be in the face.

Such is life.  It's never a smooth road, but at least it's paved with good intentions and sprinkled with wonder.

Family Gatherings

MEMORY MONDAYS

Great-Grandparents and their children & grandchildren.  Mid-1920s

It's that time of year when I start thinking of the Good Ol' Days.  Holidays do that, and with Thanksgiving only a few days away, those memories of my family's holiday get-togethers come tumbling back through my mind.

I'm not technically a member of the genealogy of my family.  I'm adopted.  But my adopted family is all I've ever known, and I'm proud to be a part of them, even though I won't ever be listed in the official genealogy records.  I don't mind.  It's still my family.

My grandmother was the oldest girl of seven children.  Her grandparents immigrated to the U.S. from Germany in 1886 and settled on the farmland of Kansas.  She passed away when I was six months old, so I don't remember her.  But I have known most of her brothers and sisters, my great-uncles and great-aunts.  And their kids and their kids' kids.  I have a LOT of cousins.

The family enjoyed getting together and did so often.  The photo on the right was taken in the late 1930s.  The bib-overalls are proof that this was a farming family, although the photo was taken in the city at my grandparents' house.  I love this picture, because it's the house where I grew up, after my grandparents passed away.  The boy in the overalls standing with his hands in his pockets is my uncle.  My mother's younger brother.  As it is with many families now, the men would gather in one spot, while the women gathered in another--usually the kitchen!

Thanksgiving and Christmas were always big family affairs when I was growing up.  As many as possible would gather for a big dinner out in the country on one of the farms.  Quite often it would be at the home  of one of my Great-aunts, Aunt Dorothy or Aunt Lucy.  Lucy had a twin, Louis, but I didn't see much of him.  It was those two Great-aunts and their families who celebrated the holidays together.  There was never a lack of good food.  Everyone brought something.  My mom was often the one who cooked and brought the turkey, so I'd always wake up to the smell of roasting turkey on holiday mornings.

They were a noisy bunch.  Talking, joking and laughing went on throughout the day.  When everyone had stuffed themselves, but still sneaked an olive, celery stick or carrot, or another slice of homemade pie, they cleared the table, washed the dishes.  Once the chores were done, the grownups sat at the table for an afternoon and evening of playing cards.  Pitch was always the card game played, and I've never learned how to play it.  The level of sound would go up, and we kids could often hear the friendly arguments and shouts, while we climbed trees and scouted out the livestock outside.  I remember bottle feeding lambs and gathering eggs, which I detested, convinced that if a hen pecked me, I'd get chicken pox.  That proved to be untrue, of course, even though I did have chicken pox when I was 10.

As they evening grew later, talk of going home would begin, but it would take some time before everyone could tear themselves away from the good company and that last piece of Aunt Dorothy's chocolate pie.  When we kids were older, we'd have Aunt Dorothy bring out the wood folding table.  Four of us would sit at it and ask the table (spirit) questions.  The table would tilt on two legs, then drop down to "knock" once or twice for yes or no.  I've discovered mine wasn't the only family that did this, so we weren't the only "crazy" ones.

The drive down to the farm had seemed hours long, but it was barely 25 miles.  On the way home, as we drove in the dark through the small town that would one day be where I finished growing up, we followed a diagonal road shortcut that appeared to lead straight into the big grain elevator.  Of course it didn't end up at the elevator, instead leading to the north-south road that would take us home.  It wouldn't be long before I fell asleep in the quiet of the night, only to be roused, sleepy and grumpy when we arrived home.  Then off to bed, thinking of how fun and happy the day with family had been, eager for the next holiday.

I hope your memories of long-ago are as happy as mine!

Family is not an important thing. It's everything. ~ Michael J. Fox

Time Off

THE WRITING LIFE

The time came for me to keep a running To Do list.  I kept forgetting to do things, then rushing to get them done when I realized they needed attention.  My list never seems to be finished.  Each day I add something new, in spite of marking off at least one or two items that were already there.

Sometimes we simply need to take a break.

In addition to writing, I design author websites and provide childcare for my grandkids.  All but one of the five (a step-grand makes it six) is in school.  (Hear my hallelujah?)  So last week, still in the throes of not having my taxes filed yet, website work to do, and a proposal that needs some changes and polishing, my youngest daughter decides we need to take the youngest grand (her niece) to the zoo.  One more thing to add to the list.  But I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Okay, if you really want to."  After all, there's a special admission price this month on Wednesdays, making it less painful on the pocketbook.

With a backpack stuffed with sandwiches, and my camera in hand, we went to the zoo.  It's been a while since we've gone.  In fact, Payton (above with the bears) has never been to our zoo.  She wasn't exactly wild about the idea at first, but once there, when told, "Come on, we have to go," after looking over an animal, she cried.  Yeah, I think she liked it. :)

We have a wonderful zoo here, much better than the tiny (free) one in a park that I visited as a child.  Not that I've never seen better than that old one.  I've been to some of the best, including the Chicago Zoo and the San Diego Zoo.  But I have to say that ours now ranks among the best.  While there are some of the more common animals (lions and tigers and bears and, of course, elephants, and Michael Jackson once bought a baby giraffe from our zoo), we include the more uncommon from all over the world.  The best part is that the animals are shown in their natural habitat, not sleeping or pacing in cages.

Stork

The zoo is divided into sections, including areas of the world.  There's the Children's Farms that include an Asian Farm, American Farm, and African Farm.  Our new Penguin Cove opened a few years ago, and there's an indoor Amphibian & Reptile building, that begins with three large, and very old, tortoises and ends with the snakes (shiver).  Since seeing Harry Potter, I have images still in my mind of how the glass disappeared when I stand in front of the Anaconda exhibit.

Inside the Jungle

The Jungle building is one of the most popular and includes not only a real waterfall, but fruit bats flying freely and vampire bats in a dark, glassed in area.  Plants are everywhere, and the birds are free to fly and roam...and make a lot of noise.  There's the North American area, with bears and buffaloes and more, the Gorilla Forest that's so much fun to watch.  Africa and Asia, which includes the Tiger Trek, moves on to Australia and South America.  Most of the animals from those last two regions were unavailable, thanks to our colder weather here, but we'll catch them the next time.

Gorilla playing with a sheet

The exhibits are all well-marked as is the way to each area, and the information shared on each animal is fascinating.  School children from the city and surrounding school districts take trips to the zoo every year and learn new things.  And, yes, I do read those information signs.  Flamingos get their pink/orange color from eating greens that contain iodine.  I remember the flamingos at Cyprus Gardens in Florida when I was child, but I never knew until yesterday that the underside of a flamingos wings are black, thanks to them taking low flight from the shore to the pond yesterday.

While it wasn't the beautiful day forecasted, and the sun refused to come out from behind thick clouds, with a stiff breeze and 10 degrees cooler than expected, we still had a wonderful time!  Proof, once again, that time off is needed by everyone, and it doesn't take much to make some of those times memorable.

“Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow.” ~ Douglas Pagels

A Time to Work, A Time to Play

MOTIVATION MONDAYS

The four sports depicted in the photos on the left share something in common.  They all involve a goal of some kind.  Of course the obvious goal is to win, but a team must make more goals, scoring than the other team to win.

I've blogged a lot here, especially on Mondays, about setting and working toward goals.  I've even mention that we should reward ourselves in some way when we reach each goal, no matter how big or small.  But while reading the latest blog post, Scheduling Success, at Left-Brained Business for Write-Brained People, I started thinking about how much we use setting goals for work, but many of us don't tend to set goals for play.

I'm probably the worst person about making time for fun or to just relax.  There are some days that I work twelve to sixteen hours.  While that isn't always fast-paced work, it's still work and doesn't leave a lot of time for play.  I'm beginning to notice that more and more.  It isn't just because of writing or Facebook/Twitter.  Long ago, when my daughters were young, I discovered I couldn't spend each evening in front of the television, so I pretty much stopped watching.  Don't get me wrong.  I find television entertaining, but to get things done, I had to give up the majority of shows I watched.  Amazingly, it didn't kill me!  Only in the last few years have I decided I could allow myself television time, and I've begun watching again.  Not so much this summer, of course, although HBO is kind enough to offer programs the grab and hold my attention.

So I've added some TV to my life again.  I've also added walking.

I understand that there are some people who might look at me as if I'd lost my mind when I say that walking is relaxing.  They're partly right.  It isn't relaxing in the true sense of the word, but it does help start my day on the positive side.  I listen to music on my Mp3 player, get some exercise and fresh air, and clear my brain.  I've also found that if I don't force it, major breakthroughs in my stories have resulted by just getting out there for thirty minutes or more each day and putting one foot in front of the other.  I also discovered that I missed my walks when the temps were so high that even mornings were miserable, forcing me to take a break for a few weeks.  My only fear is that by the time I get home again and do whatever needs to be done to get the rest of the morning going, I may forget.  (Note to self:  Check again on getting a small voice recorder.)

I've discovered that time spent with friends makes life better.

It doesn't happen often.  Although my writing group gets together for a meeting once a month, it's work related and doesn't count as a simple get-together with friends.  Yesterday, I met friends Patricia Davids, Penny Rader, and Deborah Eades, at the movie theater to see Hope Springs. We had a great time, just kicking back in a cool theater with popcorn and drinks, while watching the movie unfold.  (A super movie, especially for anyone over 40.)  Seeing a movie is something I do maybe twice a year.  This really should change.

I'm learning again that life isn't just doing the day to day things that must be done.  It's more than paying the bills and keeping the car running. It's more than writing and creating websites and getting grandkids to school.  And even though I've had to re-adjust my writing goals and am running on a tight schedule toward deadline, I'm definitely going to find a little more time to enjoy television, a few movies, walking, and friends.

Next time you start making goals, be sure to build in some play time.  It doesn't have to be a lot, it doesn't even have to be every day, but it should be often.

Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold.  But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow. ~ Douglas Pagels, These Are the Gifts I'd Like to Give to You