It's Not What You Think

No, I was not on vacation last week, although I truly wish I had been.  Sometimes work and deadlines and family completely take over life, and other things must take a backseat.  In fact, I shouldn't even be here writing a blog.  I should be working, but my conscience is bothering me, so, well, here I am.

It's a good thing February is a short month.  By the weekend, we'll have run the four weeks of the second month of this new year and be on our way to what will hopefully be spring.

Does anyone remember Spring?

We've been on a long run of cold and ultra-cold this winter.  Polar Vortexes, included.  I'm yearning for warm.  Not hot, mind you, but a nice 75-80 degrees to thaw my feet, hands, nose...  On the other hand, as I complain about the cold, and the snow, and the sub-zero temps, I realize that it could have been worse.  I could live in the Northeast. ;)  Blessings to all of you who have had a rough winter.  May you thaw quickly and soon!

I'm impatiently waiting to see the first green buds on trees.  They will come, as they always do each year, but sometimes the wait seems eternal.  Spring, it's been said, is eternal, but this year I'd have to say that Winter has been.  This week is supposed to be another cold one.  Not frigid, as some of them in the past couple of months have been, but still cold enough to wish for a few more days of 60 degrees, when a jacket is all that's needed.  I'm more than ready to put away the long, down coat, gloves, three pairs of socks and the rest of the layering.  I yearn to sit barefoot at my computer.  If I tried that now, I'd have a severe case of frostbite.  I'll even try to be grateful when my 6" fan, buzzing away on my desk, is needed to keep me cool.  And I know it won't be long until I'm complaining about unstable weather and threats of tornadoes, along with power outages.  Although I hope this year those outages don't cause another computer monitor to die.  Which reminds me, I need to find a chimney for my oil lamp.  One more thing to add to an ever-growing list of needs, thanks to the weather.

As I sit here, I gaze longingly at the photo above.  How I would love to have a hammock, where I could rest and dream!  I've been so busy, even dreaming has crowded into that backseat with work and deadlines and family.  But I have given myself permission to watch college basketball.  Our beloved WSU Shockers are now the only undefeated team in the nation.  I'm convinced that's the only thing that has kept me from complete insanity.

Oh, have no fear.  By May I'll be whining about storms and tornadoes.  By mid July it will be the heat.  By August it will be the need for school to start again.  If only I could learn how to accept and enjoy each season, each turn in life as it speeds by, faster and faster.  Maybe I'll work on that...when  spring arrives.  And maybe, if I'm really, really lucky, I'll get a vacation, even if it's a working vacation.

Now back to trying to dream about that hammock and the beautiful beach with a gentle, cooling, tropical breeze...  Dream on!

I'd like to dial it back 5% or 10% and try to have a vacation that's not just e-mail with a view. ~ Elon Musk

SMART Goals 3

There are three words that define the R in SMART: Relevant, Responsible, and Realistic.

All of the things involved in SMART Goals interconnect with each other, so there will often be duplications, but those duplications sometimes dig a little deeper with each step.  And sometimes we simply need it repeated ad nauseum, pounding it into our brains.  Setting goals takes practice.  Setting SMART Goals takes even more.


R is for Relevant
One key to clarifying what it is your goal will be is to check to see that you will be able to see results.  By breaking your big goal into smaller ones, you'll be able to see results and progress.  It's hard to stick with a goal if you don't see yourself moving forward.

For instance, your goal is to write a book in a year.  There are 52 weeks in a year.  Each week should include a smaller goal that pertains to the large, main goal.  Using number of words or pages to write is an excellent smaller goal, and if you keep track of that, you'll see results.  Words and/or pages to be written are relevant because you'll see results...as long as you're working toward your goal.

Once again, ask yourself these questions as you're setting your goals.

• How many days in each week can you use to write?  To work on reaching your goal?  
• How much time in each of your days can you and are you willing to spend on your goal?
• When will you not be able to work on your goal?  This one is important.  We get sick, our family members get sick.  There are vacations and other personal things that we need to work around and factor in when we won't be able to work on our goals.

When I start to write a book, I know how much I can reasonably write in one day.  Because my books are broken down into scenes in chapters, I set a goal of one scene per day.  I know it can be done.  I also know it sometimes won't get done.  During the week is usually the hardest, because it never fails that something will come up to drag me away from my goal.  I do my catching up on weekends and hope there isn't a lot of catching up to do!

So what's relevant to your goal?

• Research.  I try to do research before starting the book, but it always seems to happen that I have to go look up something I missed.
• Taking time to unwind.  All work and no play makes Johnny and Janey dull, tired, and mush-brained.  Be sure to build in some downtime, when you don't have to think about your story.
• Working when you'd rather be playing.  Saying "next time" to an invitation from a friend that will drag you far away from your goal.  This includes phone calls.
• Track your progress.  Don't guess.  Keep a spreadsheet or whatever works best.
• Breaking down goals.  The idea of writing a book--or doing any other big goal--is exciting at first.  But as time goes on, it can become daunting.  That's why it takes thought and planning.  It's much easier to reach a small goal than a huge one.  We don't eat a Cattleman's Steak by cramming it in our mouth.  It's bite by bite.  Create bite-sized goals to reach the big one.

R is for Responsible

While burying yourself in your goal might seem admirable, it isn't.  There are more things in life than even major goals.  As much as I would like to sometimes, I can't lock myself in my office and shut out the world for extended periods of time.  Meals must be cooked or at least a run for hamburgers to the closest, cheapest and fastest fastfood spot.  Bills must be paid, laundry done, and dishes washed.  Getting out and breathing fresh air is a good idea, too.

How important is your goal?  Well, it's definitely important to you.  Mine is important to me.  Everyone's goal should be important to the person who makes the goal.  Otherwise, why bother?

What we don't think about when dreaming of reaching our goal is how it can affect others.  When setting your goal, ask yourself these questions.

• Will it cost me friends?  We like to think that our friends are as excited about our goals as we are.  Many of them are!  And some of them may discover down that line your goal has usurped time you once spent together or talked, emailed, whatever.  Good friends will cheer you on and listen to you whine.  But there's a limit to that with most friends.  Be sure to make time for your friends, even if it's a quick email or limited phone call to say "I'm thinking of you."
• Will I have my family's respect?  No matter what, there will always be times when family wants our full and undivided attention.  It may take talking it out and reaching a compromise, where they agree to leave me alone for X amount of time on X day(s), and I will take them to X or spend X amount of time with them.  (Small children especially will need more time than, say teens, although they, too, will notice that your full attention is not on them.)  Family members are like the person with the goals.  At first it's all bright and shiny, but when it starts to take time away from real life, somebody is going to be unhappy and think you care more about the goal than them.  Word of advice?  Deal with.  Don't ignore it.
• Will this cost me my integrity?  Integrity, smigtegrity.  Who cares, right?  Think again.  Two instances come to mind.  I'm sure you'll get the gist.

   1.  You're employed and have a good work record on which your employer has commended you.  Now that you have this big goal, you want to focus on it.  You get behind on your goal and start taking time off from your job.  You've compromised your integrity.  Both your employment and your goal are important.

   2.  You're a parent who people admire.  Now you have a goal, and by golly by gee, you're going to meet that goal, no matter what.  Your child(ren) can manage one day of wearing dirty underwear and socks.  Now that day has turned into a week.  Or your child may need help with homework, but you have your own work (goal) to focus on, not Johnny or Janie who is beginning to fail a class in school or is getting into trouble in school or elsewhere.  Big ding on the integrity you'd worked so hard to build.  Put your goal aside, revamp if necessary, and rebuild that integrity.  The goal will still be reached, just maybe not as soon as you'd planned.

• Is your goal easy enough to respond to and change, if needed?  Life happens.  I'll be honest.  If I won a trip just about anywhere, I'd take it in the blink of an eye.  My goal can wait.  Although I'd probably find myself at least jotting down random notes, because when a writer isn't able to work, the mind creates megatons of information. ;)  Sad things and happy thing abound.  As humans, we try (or at least should try) to roll with the punches.  Some things are more important than a goal.  Other things are not.  You get to decide on which.  
• Change the above to...  Is your goal easy enough to changes IF REQUIRED?  When it comes down to things that have no choices--maybe a stint in the hospital for an ailing family member, the loss of a family member, or something dire you must attend to immediately and even long term such as taking a second job--we, as caring individuals, will put aside our goal.  It can be picked up later, when life allows.  And life will allow it, as long as we keep a hold on the dream.  When goals have to be set aside, the dream is still there.  Believe it.

The nice thing about setting goals is that we have the opportunity to change and tweak them as we go.  There's nothing wrong if we find ourselves floundering with a goal.  But instead of chucking it all when that happens, making changes can get us to where we need to be.

R is for Realistic

It never hurts to go over this one again.  Can your goal be met by you, or so it require someone/something else?  Back to the I-want-to-write-a-book-which-will-become-a-bestseller.  The first part is doable.  The part after "which?"  That depends on a lot of things that are simply out of our hands.  With a goal, we do the very best we can do.  For the above, the next step would be to get a publisher interested.  It's possible.  It isn't set in stone.  But it doesn't mean you dump the entire goal.  A "someday I will be published" is more realistic, although never a given.  It may take five complete books, it may take ten or more, but your chances of reaching that dream becomes better and better.

The same goes with the time that goes into your goal.  "I want to write a book in 2 weeks."  Yeah, good luck with that one!  A short book, a children's book, either would be possible.  But there's a lot more to it.  That's the way it is with big goals.  Throwing away everything else in life to work on a big goal would be sad, if not a huge mistake.  One thing does not make a life.  It's all the little things that make it well-rounded and exciting. We want to make it a good life.  Be realistic.

One last Friday for SMART Goals next week!  We'll look at the letter T.  Another two-parter.  Time-Bound and Touchable.

Have you been working on your goals?  Are you still setting your goals?  Either way, how is it going?

There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams. Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it, and yep, they're still there. ~ Erna Bombeck

So You Want to be a Writer...

Millions of people think of becoming a writer.  Only a small percentage actually do.  There are probably as many reasons for both.  It looks like fun, but the truth is that it's hard work and not for the faint-hearted.  It can be brutal, it can be fabulous!  But there's no way of knowing which and when will happen, because both do.

I'll be upfront and honest and say without qualms that I am not a NY Times Bestselling Author.  I don't have awards stretched along my fireplace mantle.  I don't even have a fireplace, much less a mantle.  I haven't sold as many books as some, but I've sold more than others.  In fact, I have two, very close friends who have topped the charts.  Does that bother me?  Not really.  I focus on myself, not everyone else.  I don't need to be the Joneses next door.  Trying to do that is counterproductive.  I'd drive myself crazy.  Okay, crazy-ER.

It's my opinion that there are four kinds of writers.  Let's take a look at them.

1. People who dream about being a writer and may have even told people about their dream, but haven't written anything.  
2. People who write sporadically, when the mood strikes, but enjoy being around people who write.
3. People who are actively writing toward a goal of being published and continue to learn new things.
4. People who have had a book published--or have published a book--and are actively working on the next.  Learning new things are a must in their life.

#1's are simply dreamers.  They usually love reading and wish to someday do the same.  However, they haven't looked into the process of writing and publishing.  They, like dreamers, dream of someday writing a book...when there's time.  Maybe.  These are the people we hear say, "Someday I'm going to write a book about [whatever topic is being discussed].  There are times when this can lead to actually moving forward and investigating what goes into writing a book.

#2's are what are known as hobbyists.  There's nothing wrong with being a hobbyist.  Having interest in doing something is good.  Many writing hobbyists are even voracious readers.  There are a few who rarely read, but enjoy listening to others talk about writing and will say they are writing, too.

#3's are writers.  They have done and continue to do their "homework."  They attend conferences, workshops, either in person or online, and keep up with what's going on in the publishing world.  They get together with writer friends and join writing groups to talk about and learn more about writing and publishing.  But most importantly, they are writing...at least once a week, if not more.  They are writers.

#4's understand how important it is to write and continue to learn about all aspects of writing.  In the meantime, they write nearly every day (or night).  They write wherever and whenever they can, whether it's waiting while kids attend activities or even on vacation.  They work hard and have deadlines to meet.  They are Writers.

Which number are you?

Kristen Lamb said in her June 10, 2013 blog post, Traits of the Successful Author--Self Discipline, "If you want to be a professional, careful hanging out with too many amateurs. When I say amateur, I don’t mean unpublished (pre-published) writers. I mean writers who are hobbyists. If you’re in a writing group, and it might as well be a coffee klatshe? Find another group or create one on WANATribe."

Well said, Kristen!

Which number are you?  Are you happy where you are?  If so, that's fine.  If you aren't, why aren't you?  Ask yourself what's keeping you from moving on.  Even multi-published authors can and do ask themselves this question.  The answer?  Each one is different, just as each writer is different.  Know where you are and decide where you want to be.  If you're a #2 and happy, you're where you want to be.  If you're a #1, and do nothing beyond dreaming, ask yourself what's important, dreaming or doing and do something about it, if needed.  #3?  Keep learning and keep writing!  Even when it feels like the odds are against you, keep moving forward.  Keep writing.  The publishing world is changing, and you may find the right place to be and the right (write?) you.

Follow your dream, then live your dream.

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. 

 -- Harriet Tubman

Survival of the Fittest

WRITING WEDNESDAYS THURSDAY

Not only are Thanksgiving and Black Friday over for the year, but the 2012 edition of NaNoWriMo will end tomorrow.  In my mind, I see writers at their desks with their heads down as they race to the finish line to see how close they can each get to that 50,000 word goal.

Fifty thousand words written in a month.  Amazing.  Wonderful.  Exhausting.

I joke, but this is really serious stuff.  Anyone who even gave it a try this year is a winner.  Setting a goal and working toward it is something to be proud of, even if the goal isn't quite reached, participating in something like NaNo is an achievement that shouldn't be passed of as nothing.  It's something.   Just the act of trying is courageous.  But isn't a lot of life the same?

The old proverb, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again," [1840 T. H. Palmer Teacher's Manual 223] holds true for everything in life.  Well, the good stuff, anyway.  We don't want to keep trying to be evil and mean and blackhearted.  What we do want is to be successful in the things we do, from being a good person, a good parent, and at least have a modicum of success in the things we choose to do.  While it's true that we can't always be highly successful in everything, sometimes we don't know our true worth until we reach for that brass ring.  Missing it isn't failing, because trying, itself, is positive forward motion.  Don't throw in the towel too soon.

Because writing is one of the arts, it takes time to hone the craft.  In honing, we often learn from our mistakes.  One of the things we can count on 99% of the time is that we our work will be rejected at least once. Please note that the WE is crossed out.  I did that for a reason, because while our work may be rejected, we as persons are not.  Granted, it hurts.  Yes, it can feel personal.  But the key to keep in mind is that a rejection is not just what some call "an invitation to resubmit" but a chance to learn something.  It can be the catalyst to dig a little deeper or try again for that spark that makes a story cry out in a sea of other stories.

Rejections aren't only for those trying to break into publishing, but for those who have a backlist.  Yes, published authors get rejections, too.  And they try again.  The proof is in the pudding.  My pudding.  In June last year (2011), I submitted two proposals for two new stories set in Desperation, OK.  They were rejected in July, with an invitation to revise and resubmit.  I revised, resubmitted (August) and was rejected (September) again.  Definitely a time to reconsider.  I decided to keep the heroine in one story, because she's been a minor character in the series, but to give her a new hero and story, then write a completely new story for the second, with a completely new hero & heroine.  I submitted those at the end of October.  They were rejected mid-December.

To say I was disappointed and questioning my ability to write anything beyond my name would be an understatement.  But I wasn't completely down quite yet.  I took a deep breath and wondered what to do.  I had two more story ideas with brother heroes that were left over from my Silhouette Romance days, so I quickly worked up proposals on them and sent them to my agent and editor in mid-January.  When they both were accepted, I breathed a big sigh of relief, patted myself on the back and immediately set to work writing them.  If I'd given up after those three rejections, A NANNY FOR THE COWBOY (March 2013) and DESIGNS ON THE COWBOY (June 2013) would be nothing but old story notes.

There are so many things to think about when writing a book, and it sometimes seems that the more we know, the harder the writing can be.  Unfettered writing, such as that done during NaNo, can sometimes unearth some of our best work, only because we're not questioning each word written.

Whether you're wrapping up NaNoWriMo for this year, or you're fearing another rejection, or even if you've recently stuck your toe in the dark but sparkling waters of writing, stay strong.  Work hard, grow that thick skin so your psyche and muse don't become too bruised by the journey, and be fit enough to survive.  To quote Spock, "Live long and prosper."

I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. - Jimmy Dean, Actor, Singer and Businessman

Hope & Thanks

With Thanksgiving only a day away and many people I know are finishing their 21 Days of Thankfulness, it seems only fitting to take a step back and remember the good things that have happened over the past year.  Complaining about what isn't good doesn't make it better.  Working toward making our lives better and believe that we can does.

I didn't participate in the 21 Days, because of a deadline that ended on Monday.  After four hours of sleep, I got out of bed, let the new dog out, and wrote an epilogue that may or may not make sense, then I sent the whole revised book so my editor via email. The rest of the day included walking through a fog of duh and the reason for not writing a blog post.  That's my excuse.

But I'm not going to use this space to opine on the good things that have happened to me this year.  I'm going to share a YouTube video that should be seen be everyone.  On Friday, I'll share another.

Blessings to all of you, your family and friends.