MIA

I've been under the radar for the past few weeks.  It hasn't been fun.  I've never been a sick person, but over the past almost 3 months, I can't say I've been healthy.  It seems everything decided to hit at once.

Simply wrapping my mind around words has been an effort in futility.  I'm trying harder to fix that.  With an August 18th revision deadline, I don't have a choice.

And I missed a lot of good stuff.  For the first time in years, I wasn't able to attend any of our 9-day annual River Festival.  I'd made plans to travel with friends to San Antonio, TX, to RWA's annual conference being held there this year, but I had to back out.  With my health not at 100%, I didn't want to risk it.

So here I am, trying not to feel sorry for myself. Most of the time it works.  Once in a while it doesn't.

It's hard to deal with disappointment.  While we might be able to manage to keep a smile on our faces, inside we battle how we really feel.  I feel...sad, let down, already missing my friends and the fun I always have.  Sometimes it's better to let ourselves feel the disappointment or anger or whatever negative emotion for a little while, but not for long.  We have to find a way to get past it, forget it, and move on.  There'll be something positive in our lives soon that will take the place of those negative feelings.  Until then, I intend to treat myself with gentleness and patience.

Oh, yeah.  There's one more thing.  I need to get to work!!

I'll pop back in here when time and energy allow.  Until then, keep smiling!

If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment. ~ Henry David Thoreau

Another Week, Another Friday

FRIDAY FREE-FOR-ALL aka Friday Crazies
No, I don't have special plans for the weekend.  Weekends are a lot like weekdays around here.  Just because it's Saturday or Sunday or even Friday evening, one day is much the same as others.  I work, no matter what day it is.  Now that Game of Thrones has finished its fourth season, I don't even have a MUST-WATCH TV show.

The grass needs mowing.  Thanks to the rain we've had, the backyard is a jungle.  Last Saturday, I pulled and cut the bigger weeds, in hope that we might get to actually mow at some point.  Yesterday we replaced the primer cap on the mower - - - that's the little button that has to be pushed to prime a pull-cord type mower so it will start - - - and it still won't start.  But the Weed Eater is working again, now that it has new line, so we might manage to blaze a trail of some kind through the jungle.  I'm not holding my breath.  Temps are expected to be in the 90s, with humidity to match.  Ugh.

New neighbors--or maybe only one--to the south of us are making life, well, interesting.  A pitbull has been ensconced in the backyard there, complete with small dog house.  That would be well and good, but the poor dog is attached to a leash, giving him little freedom.  Not to mention that I learned yesterday that it's illegal in this fair city for a dog to be tied up for more than an hour, four times a day.  This dog has been tied up 24/7 for 2 1/2 days.  I had to find out from the neighbor to the south of my south neighbor that anyone was actually living in the house.  I don't make a habit of clocking the habits of neighbors or even knowing who they are.  I rarely saw anyone there, but when I did, it was often at the strangest times---3:30 a.m., mostly, when headlights from a car pulled into the driveway, which would shine in my bedroom window.  In spite of several Facebook friends thinking it might be a drug house, the new neighbor is an older Hispanic woman who doesn't drive and obviously never steps out of the house, either. le sigh

Let me make it clear.  I like dogs.  We have a dog, too, but Max the Pekingese isn't all that crazy about
going outside, especially when it's raining, snowing, hot or the grass is tall. When he does allow us to boot him out, we then have to carry him back in, especially at midnight.  Max is L A Z Y and S P O I L E D.  The dog next door is tied to his dog house ALL THE TIME.  Said dog also isn't crazy about being left alone ALL THE TIME, so barks, moans, whines, and every other sound imaginable ALL THE TIME.  The past two nights have meant being awakened far too often by the barks and whines of the dog.  And I've yet to see anyone in the backyard to check on him.  Do I call the authorities and report this?  Or maybe I should simply leave a copy of the City Law that states New Ordinance Makes it a Crime to Keep Your Dog on a Chain 24/7" in the door for someone to find.  I'm about to set the dog free, when no one is looking.  However, I'm not sure how friendly the dog is or isn't.

So it's summer and it's Friday.  I'm a few pages from finishing a new manuscript.  I need to get busy on plotting a new series for Harlequin American, set in a Texas ghost town.  But my #3 daughter and her hubby are stopping by this evening with a present for me.  They consider it a present.  I consider it one more mouth to feed.  A couple of weeks ago, said daughter picked up her cat Tosca, who's been living with me for the past several years, since daughter couldn't have a cat where she lived, and they're now living at least 2 hours away.  Yes, I'll miss Tosca, but she tends to keep to herself and she apparently is enjoying her new home and humans.  So daughter has decided to give me one of the kittens born in one of the race cars at the shop. (Her hubby is a race car driver.)  Just what I need, right?

There's a problem with new kitty.  He's a he and will have to be, um, fixed.  And daughter named all the kittens after candy bars.  (Yes, I'm serious.)  This particular kitty was named Kondike.  Yeah, like a Konkdike Bar, which is actually ice cream, not a candy bar.  I decided to name him Dave.  Yes, Dave.  My youngest daughter is having a fit.  PETS CANNOT BE GIVEN HUMAN NAMES.  Which isn't exactly true, since Toby, her cat, has a human name.  She wanted me to name the new kitten DaVinci, which is how the name Dave came to be.  Or Tyrion, seeing that I'm a GoT and Peter Dinklage fan.  Or anything but Dave.  #3 daughter says I can name kitten whatever I want.  Her hubby likes Dave Kondike, Used Car Salesman.  They're the ones who gave me a fish for my birthday and named him Charlie Manson.  Creative, aren't they?

Let's face it.  There's never a dull moment here.  Four daughters, each with her own distinctive personality, always make life interesting.  And if they should fail, humanity will always fill in.

Best wishes to anyone who has bothered to slog through this rambling mess.  Have a wonderful weekend!!  Pics of Dave Kondike, Used Car Salesman will be posted on Monday.  I hope. ;)

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. ~ Mark Twain

No Fun for This Friday

FRIDAY FREE-FOR ALL
Actually, I should title this blog post FRIDAY WHINE.

Why?  Because that asthma I mentioned earlier this week has still not gone away.  I'm worn out from no sleep, and my ribs hurt from coughing.  (Coughing with asthma is good, as long as it's productive.)  I've been dealing with this for three weeks now, and in some ways it's finally getting better.  I can sometimes walk from one end of the house to the other.  Not always.  Just now and then.

I'm trying not to push it, but tonight is the kick-off of our annual River Festival.  That means sitting on the riverbank, listening to the symphony play all kinds of great music, then wrapping it up with the 1812 Overture and the most fantastic fireworks display that seems to never want to end.  Believe me, the audience doesn't want it to end.

But if I can't walk half a block without gasping for air, I won't be going.  We usually have to park several blocks away from the heart of the festival and walk.  At this point, I doubt I could make it.  And I'll miss the concert and fireworks, something I look forward to each year.  I'm secretly trying to devise a plan to drive to the baseball stadium, find someplace to park, and hope I can see the fireworks from there.  I'm dreaming, I'm sure.  The streets will be closed, and I won't be able to get even close.

So maybe I'll just go outside in the backyard, while the rest of my family goes to hear and see.  I can sit in my swing and turn on the radio station that shares the music being played by the symphony.  At least I can enjoy that.  I might even get a glimpse of some sparklies in the sky.  It isn't that far from my house to downtown.  And it's better than nothing.

This gives me a chance to catch up on those edits I'd planned to have finished a week or two ago.  I still have the last four chapters to edit, and while it was going well, concentration is hampered by coughing.  But I haven't given up, and maybe by the end of the weekend, I'll have the book edited.  After that?  I'm not sure, but I'm targeting some time in July to publish it.  There's so much to learn!

Life is full of disappointments, and I'm not going to let this one get me down.

Here's hoping that those reading this whine have a wonderful weekend or whatever part of your week lies ahead.

If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment. ~ Henry David Thoreau

Summer!! Or Good Enough, At Least

FRIDAY FREE-FOR-ALL
I'll be honest.  I have no idea what I'm blogging about today.  I'm simply happy that school is out and summer vacation has officially begun today.

Taking a quick look out the window, it would be difficult to call it summer.  The sky is overcast, leftover from early morning storms, and the temperature, which reached into the low 90s yesterday, is just under 70.  I have no doubt that will quickly change by tomorrow.  But we need the rain here, and there's no reason not to welcome a cool day.  After all, we already passed 100 earlier this month.

Mallory, the youngest of my four, and I spent much of yesterday attending graduation ceremonies.  (Two of my grands, her nieces.)  The first was youngest granddaughter Payton's Pre-K.  The class presented parents and friends with songs they'd learned over this school year.  I especially liked the "Five Little Monkees Jumping On the Bed" song.  It reminded me of my own girls' days in Brownie and Girl Scouts.





The little guy on the left in the light blue shirt was a showman and such a cutie.  When one of the songs was over, he turned to his mom (blonde, in white shirt) and said, "Take a picture of me, Mom."  He was obviously proud, as well he should be.  They all should.  After all, they came away from the year with nifty songs, knowing their alphabet and able to count, and especially how to get along in a classroom of their peers.  A step in the right direction!







All the kids seemed to understand how special the day was for them and their families.  Smiles abounded, giggles and squeals filled the room.  These kids were excited!




A little over an hour later, we were back at the school for Payton's older sister's graduation from 5th grade.  While the Pre-Kers had been in a party mood, the older group understood what this day meant for them.  Grade school would be a memory, when the doors to middle school open in the fall.  Many of them had spent the past six years together, growing and learning.  A video presentation at the end of the ceremony of random shots of the students in classrooms and on the playground was followed by a beautiful rendition of Katie Perry's Roar filling the auditorium.  These kids understood that they're were stepping out of one stage of life into the next.

The last group of four to receive their diplomas stood patiently in line.  That's Allie, waiting her turn to get her Certificate of Promotion.

 It's hard to believe that it wasn't all that long ago that Allie was finishing Pre-K and then Kindergarten.  She's growing up into a fine young woman, and I hope she weathers middle school well.  From my own memories, it's the worst of all the stepping stones of education.

The graduates listened to a memorable speech by the Operations Division Director of the City schools, and he presented each one of them with a special gift:  A small, flat black stone, like the one he had carried throughout his own school years and still kept as a reminder of how far he'd come and the wonderful gifts in his life--his family.

And of course these are the years of giggling girls and selfies.  How lucky we are that technology has given us instant photos to keep that will remain as memories in our hearts for years.  Let's hope these girls all remember the good times they had in grade school as they walk, sail, and fly through their lives.

Then it was over.  Another year, another two graduations.  Last year it was oldest granddaughter Scarlett (our ice-skater) from 5th grade, and youngest grandson Jaxon's graduation from Kindergarten.  Next year will be another two.  Gavin from 5th and Payton from Kindergarten.  It's like stepping stones.  Before we know it, we'll have three 8th grade graduations in a row, and then will come high school.

The years go quickly.  Too quickly, most of us would say.  Each year brings new memories for us to treasure.  How lucky is that?

HAPPY SUMMER!

Life is all memory, except for the one present moment that goes by you so quickly you hardly catch it going. ~ Tennessee Williams

Counting Our Blessings and Joys

FRIDAY FREE-FOR-ALL
It's been a busy week.  It's been a crazy week.  It began with waking to snow on Monday morning, after a weekend of beautiful, but windy, Spring weather.  Temps in the low 80s were a blessed relief from the colder temps.  I was finally thawing!

Because my youngest granddaughter would soon be arriving for me to take her to Pre-K, but I couldn't find the ice scraper (the snow had obviously started as freezing rain), I used my fingers and fingernails to clear the snow and ice from my windshield.  Not a smart move.  Ten minutes later, my fingertips were so cold that I couldn't feel anything except the burning.  A bit of frostbite?  Maybe, and it took until the next day before they felt close to normal.  Lesson learned?  Yes.

Tuesday was Tax Day, and my focus all day was on that.  My taxes were filed and the first of quarterlies were sent.  But before I knew it, the day was over, and I went to sleep exhausted.  Mental work is exhausting!  Add my tendency to be math-challenged, and...  You get the picture.

Wednesday was spent catching up on what didn't get done on Tuesday.  It also brought a bright spot I nearly missed, if it hadn't been for an email.  My critique group met, and three of us shared our writing, and our thoughts (and complaints and woes) on writing.  To help one of our group, who hasn't been writing as much as she should, we decided that meeting every two weeks wasn't enough, and we'd be meeting weekly, at least for a while.  To be honest, it's as much for us as it is for her.  We all often need a push to do the things we've been putting off.  I'm certainly guilty of that.  The bonus of this is seeing friends more often.  Aha!  A blessing!

Then along came Thursday, and another day was gone before I knew it, and now Friday is here.  I ask myself what I've accomplished this week.  On the surface, it doesn't seem like much--except for those taxes finally getting done.  But looking back, I've been reading more than usual.  More non-fiction than fiction.  I've been learning...about myself, who I am, and how to make life better.  By better, I mean more positive than negative.

It seems that too many days go by without memory of what happened.  Nose to the grindstone sometimes means not seeing or experiencing the small joys in life.  And once that happens, we lose ourselves, seeing only the negative things or simply being relieved that we made it through another day without disaster striking in one form or another.

We all struggle with something.  I've been allowing myself the pleasure of reading, done while waiting for grandkids to be released from school and less than an hour before my go-to-sleep ritual.  I'm learning how to deal with things I struggle with.  I'm learning that I'm important.  I'm learning to focus on the good things and expect those struggles to right themselves, if only by turning some of them to blessings.

There are many joys in life.  Sometimes we forget to notice them.  The opportunity to read is one of mine.  Like the little girl in the image above, I've been a reader all my life.  As an adult, it's been my go-to reward, many times. It's also a gentle reminder that time spent reading is a blessing for my soul.  It lifts me up, takes me to places I've never known, and expands my understanding.

If you haven't given yourself the gift of reading lately, pick up a book and start reading.  Even if it's only for a few minutes, it's a blessing.  Blessings are our Joy.

What blessings have appeared in your life lately?  What has brought you joy?

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from. ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Refilling the Well

FRIDAY FREE-FOR-ALL
We all have responsibilities.  For women, that often includes the usual human things, such as eating, cleaning, looking out for our bodies and more.  Some women are married and stay-at-home wives, while some work outside the home, in addition to the usual in-home chores of life.  Some women are single and look out for themselves.  They clean, they shop, they cook, and they are responsible for only themselves.  Some women, single or married, add children to the equation.

We are nurturers.  We take care of others--husbands, children, parents, siblings and friends--while juggling all the other facets of life.  Sometimes we become so immersed in those things that we forget about ourselves.

Being a single mother with grown children and young grandchildren, my attention is focused on them, while still finding time of my own, as I try to balance work, play, and the inevitable checkbook.  It's easier, now that my four daughters are grown, but once a mom, always a mom.  I do what I can, when I can.  If I can't, I worry that I'm not being the mother I should be.  And then I remind myself that it's my time.  Not all of it is mine, but the others can take care of themselves.  After all, they're the moms now.

The first time I heard the term Refilling the Well, I was already writing and in the midst of working toward publication.  I was married, with four children, so demands on my time were natural for any woman in that same place in life.  We give of ourselves and often forget that we need time to regroup, to kick back for a little while and become who we are, other than wives, employees, mothers, cooks, cleaner-uppers, caretakers and all those other things we do because that's who we are.  After all that giving, we sometimes feel depleted of energy, time, and--dare I say it?--giving to others.  We need a little time to take a breath and think of ourselves and find way to remind us that we, too, are special.  That's what Refilling the Well is.

Why do we need to refill our wells?  Because if we don't, we might fall into the trap of not caring about ourselves.  If that happens, we might endanger our caring for others.

So how do we refill our wells?  We give ourselves the gift of time.  Our time.  No rushing Junior (or Juniorette, in my case) to ball practice or spending every spare minute that isn't taken up by all the have-to's in life by giving to others.  We don't fill those spare moments with organizing the pantry or polishing the baseboards in our house.  Well, not unless that's something that makes us happy and takes a special place in our hearts.

5 Ways to Spend Time Alone (And 14 Inspirational Quotes about Solitude)

Make a list of the small things you can do for just yourself.  A long bubble bath?  Reading?  Watching a movie we've always wanted to see?  Kicking back and listening to music we enjoy?  Spending time with a close friend or several friends?  Taking a long walk in a peaceful spot?  Watch the water in a pond or even something as simple as sitting outside on a nice day, enjoying the weather?  What one thing can you do for yourself that will take you away from everyday life and, especially, make you smile?

I used to be an avid reader.  I could read 3-5 books a week, depending on the length of them.  Reading is still what I do when I have a few minutes of quiet, uninterrupted time to put aside the demands of work, family, and home.  But too often theses days, I find myself not reading for pleasure, only for knowledge and instructions, even though my Kindle and bookshelves are filled with all kinds of fiction!  Guess what one of the things will go on my list?

With luck, I'll also be spending time with friends this weekend.  I'm looking forward to and excited about our writers group's upcoming mini-retreat this weekend.  Eight hours of talking writing, brainstorming, helping each other, laughing and sharing.  I'll spend the day with people who share my love of writing.  (The photo above was taken at our Fall Mini-Retreat last year.  While the mini-retreat is "job" related, it never feels that it is.  Many of us in the group are friends, outside of the group.  We're there for each other when times are bad or when we have something to celebrate.  We might get together for dinner out, and we've even been known to take in a movie together!

How often should we refill our wells?  As often as possible!   Ideally, that would be every day.  That's not often possible, so let's go for once a week.  If that doesn't work, how about once a month, or quarterly?  Or whenever the opportunity presents itself and especially when we're feeling depleted. Don't say no to an invitation from a friend to do something together or simply get together, unless it's absolutely necessary.  Don't feel selfish or that you're wasting your time.  We all need to do things we enjoy, in addition to the requirements in our life.

Why You Shouldn't Feel Guilty About Stealing a Little Time for Yourself (Psychology Today)

Refill the Well whenever you can.  Whenever the opportunity presents itself.  It doesn't have to be planned out in advance.  It can be done on the spur of the moment, when a small amount of time is presented.  Leave the dishes and vacuuming for a little later.  Give yourself the gift of time.

Enjoy your weekend, and if you get the chance to refill your well, take it!

I think you have to refill the well at some point. ~ Skeet Ulrich