The Aftermath of a Productive Weekend

MONDAY MADNESS
"The best laid plans of mice and men..." 

That's the beginning of a line in Robert Burn's poem, "To a Mouse, on Turning Her Up in Her Nest with the Plough," and often describes my weekend plans.

Not this past weekend.

In fact, the weekend was more productive than most and considerably more satisfying.  I had a list.  Not a long list, only four items.  For once, I didn't go mad and overdo, which leads to disappointment in myself.  No, this one was simple.

A load of laundry and several loads of dishes on Friday (we've been saving up *wink*), followed by the replacement of a light switch on Saturday morning.  Yes, I'm a handy little devil.  Or would be if I had done it right.  Unfortunately, I didn't, but neither did I cause a flash fire.  That's a win.  And, after a little more research, I discovered what I needed to do, so it now reappears on my list of chores-for-later-in-the-week.  No need to push it.  The light hasn't worked for some time.  A few more days won't matter.  Live and learn, right?  The last of the errant dishes---how do they manage to meander into other rooms?---were done, and I moved on to finish some small updates on my website.  Not a lot of work, but everything on the list crossed off.  Well, except for that light switch, but that's covered.

There was also the editing of the first three chapters of what will (I hope) be the first of a series of books that I wrote in the spring a year ago.  The tentative series name is The Divine Misfits.  Maybe.  We'll see how that goes.  So what if there are still  eleven chapters to go?  It's begun and, with luck, will be finished by Sunday.  That's the plan.

This feeling of accomplishment is rare, and I think I've discovered the secret.  Of course, most everyone but me knows that secret.  I'm a little slow on the uptake.  And what is it?  Don't overload yourself with trying to do too much!  Obviously my goal setting has weak spots.  But I'm working on that.  When it comes to writing, it isn't difficult.  When it comes to normal, everyday life, yeah, there are problems.

Yesterday (Sunday) was good, especially because it was our writers group meeting.  A week later than usual, thanks to Mother's Day, so even more welcome.  There's nothing like getting together with like-minded and wonderful friends.  I could do this all the time!  And with a handful of us vowing to meet for critiquing once a week, it's all good.  I'm pumped.  But I'm also trying not to get over-pumped.  That leads to downfall.  So it's take one small thing at a time and enjoy.

I'm learning new things.  I'm reading blogs, books, articles and whatever appears as a gift from the Universe to see life in a different way.  I like to call myself a realist, but over the years, I've become more pessimistic.  If something good happened (and it does), it was easier to say it was a fluke.  Now I'm trying to expect the good stuff.  Why not?  Shouldn't we choose the good over the bad?  I mean, if we have a choice---which we do---let's choose not only good, but great!  I like that.  I really do.  (Doing some weird Sally Field channeling here.)

Yes, there are a million things that need to be done to get the things in my life in line to the way I want it.  But they can't all be done in a day, a weekend, or even a week.  They take time.  And time is often our enemy.  Instead, let's make it our friend.  Don't overload yourself with trying to do too much!  Yes, it's definitely worth repeating.  And now that I know the secret...

In the end, what I got from all this was that I could have the best of both worlds:  Getting things done AND enjoying the weekend.  What could be better than that?  There's still laundry to be done, winter clothes to wash, dry, fold, pack away until the weather turns cold again.  Small closets and not enough drawer space means everything can't always be at hand.  That's okay.  We understand it.  It's become a tradition to start mentioning it as the weather begins to change, and finally saying, "Let's get it done today."  There's still the office that could use a bulldozer, but it, too, will be done in small doses and chunks.  Why not?  It isn't going anywhere on its own.  Lots of sort and toss and store...and finding new places to store.  Just how many file folders need to be on hand at all times?

In a few days, school will be out, and this summer may be unlike the past nine summers, filled with grandkids bickering and running crazy, trips to the library and trying to find enough food to please and fill up five growing youngsters.  I need the break.  I deserve the break.  (See that positive there?)  I want to enjoy this time.  It's MY TURN.  (Please pass that on to my offspring.)

Monday Madness will remain as it's called, only because it's MONDAY, but there'll be some small changes.  Change is good.  Change is healthy.  Change is fun!  One day at a time.  One step at a time.  And, hey, I might actually become that productive person I dream of being?

How was your weekend?  Did you have (TAKE!) the opportunity to make it a good one?  Or would you like to climb out of the rut?  Let's take the road together and see where it takes us, pitfalls and all, because there will always be those...unless we live on a faraway island where no one can find us.

Check back next week and see if this new positive course continues to work.  Yes, there will be a failure here and there, but focusing on the successes will take care of those, right?  And next week I'll share some links I've discovered that are helping me along my way.  Maybe you'll find something helpful, too.!

"The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence."  ~  Confucius

Counting Our Blessings and Joys

FRIDAY FREE-FOR-ALL
It's been a busy week.  It's been a crazy week.  It began with waking to snow on Monday morning, after a weekend of beautiful, but windy, Spring weather.  Temps in the low 80s were a blessed relief from the colder temps.  I was finally thawing!

Because my youngest granddaughter would soon be arriving for me to take her to Pre-K, but I couldn't find the ice scraper (the snow had obviously started as freezing rain), I used my fingers and fingernails to clear the snow and ice from my windshield.  Not a smart move.  Ten minutes later, my fingertips were so cold that I couldn't feel anything except the burning.  A bit of frostbite?  Maybe, and it took until the next day before they felt close to normal.  Lesson learned?  Yes.

Tuesday was Tax Day, and my focus all day was on that.  My taxes were filed and the first of quarterlies were sent.  But before I knew it, the day was over, and I went to sleep exhausted.  Mental work is exhausting!  Add my tendency to be math-challenged, and...  You get the picture.

Wednesday was spent catching up on what didn't get done on Tuesday.  It also brought a bright spot I nearly missed, if it hadn't been for an email.  My critique group met, and three of us shared our writing, and our thoughts (and complaints and woes) on writing.  To help one of our group, who hasn't been writing as much as she should, we decided that meeting every two weeks wasn't enough, and we'd be meeting weekly, at least for a while.  To be honest, it's as much for us as it is for her.  We all often need a push to do the things we've been putting off.  I'm certainly guilty of that.  The bonus of this is seeing friends more often.  Aha!  A blessing!

Then along came Thursday, and another day was gone before I knew it, and now Friday is here.  I ask myself what I've accomplished this week.  On the surface, it doesn't seem like much--except for those taxes finally getting done.  But looking back, I've been reading more than usual.  More non-fiction than fiction.  I've been learning...about myself, who I am, and how to make life better.  By better, I mean more positive than negative.

It seems that too many days go by without memory of what happened.  Nose to the grindstone sometimes means not seeing or experiencing the small joys in life.  And once that happens, we lose ourselves, seeing only the negative things or simply being relieved that we made it through another day without disaster striking in one form or another.

We all struggle with something.  I've been allowing myself the pleasure of reading, done while waiting for grandkids to be released from school and less than an hour before my go-to-sleep ritual.  I'm learning how to deal with things I struggle with.  I'm learning that I'm important.  I'm learning to focus on the good things and expect those struggles to right themselves, if only by turning some of them to blessings.

There are many joys in life.  Sometimes we forget to notice them.  The opportunity to read is one of mine.  Like the little girl in the image above, I've been a reader all my life.  As an adult, it's been my go-to reward, many times. It's also a gentle reminder that time spent reading is a blessing for my soul.  It lifts me up, takes me to places I've never known, and expands my understanding.

If you haven't given yourself the gift of reading lately, pick up a book and start reading.  Even if it's only for a few minutes, it's a blessing.  Blessings are our Joy.

What blessings have appeared in your life lately?  What has brought you joy?

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from. ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Halfway Through February Already?

I guess we're firmly entrenched in 2014 now.  It seems like New Year's Day was a week or so ago, when it's been a month and a half.

Yes, time flies.  I'm wondering where the first half of this month has gone.  But it only takes a few seconds to know that mine has been spent putting words on paper...and then changing them.

Author and friend Patricia Davids and I were just exchanging emails about our writing methods.  We each do our writing in a different way.  Her method is to edit and change as she goes along.  Mine is to write a first rough draft and then go back two or three times to change, add and edit.  Both ways are acceptable, both are perfect for each of us.  I've done the go-back method before, and all it does is confuse me.  Not only am I visual, I'm linear.  I start at the beginning and keep writing.  If I think of something that needs changed, I make a note, stick it on my book bible for use later.  After almost 20 years of writing, I find it's better if I do it my way.  That doesn't mean I don't tweak and change my way.  (Please be aware that I typed T W E A K, not t w e r k.)

The Pluses of Plotting
On top of that tic, I also plot.  I didn't start out that way, so maybe that's why I'm linear when I write.  "No plotting for me!" I cried to my critique partners.  Yeah, that didn't last as long as I thought it would.  Even to pansters I have to say, "Know where you're going!"  Why?  Because there's no reason to write half a book, only to dump it because you've come to a dead end or no reason to go back to the beginning and start making huge changes in the story.  This counts especially for new writers, who sometimes tend to have a super idea, but get lost in the telling and go off on tangents that are great for word counts, but not so good for a great story.  Involving a little plotting is a good thing, and in a week or two, I'll go through some ways that can vary.

Continuing to Learn
I was in the middle of reading Alexandra Sokoloff's Writing Love: Screenwriting Tips for Authors II when I had to stop and do other things.  You know, those writing things.  But I went back to it a couple of days ago and picked up where I left off, which was story middles and endings.  She uses examples from both movies and books, which I find to be a great help.  The thing is, none of us ever know everything, and it's always good to find another and another and even another way of looking at our writing.  I think that's another reason I enjoy writing.  I keep learning.

Making Adjustments
This isn't all about me, this is about you, as a writer.  Are you finding that writing has become more difficult?  Are you growing bored with your story, your characters?  Have you come to a place where writing is no longer something you look forward to?  If so, it's time to make some changes.

Change.  It doesn't have to be a big change.  Even changing the font you use could bring about a change.  No, I haven't tried this, but... ☺ What I did do when editing after that first draft is to change the method in which I read.  I tend to do better when I edit on hard copy, so I print the manuscript and go through with a red pen.  I may do an on-computer read-through afterward, finding a few more things that need corrected or changed.  But with the last ms, I uploaded the file to my Kindle, highlighting anything that jumped out at me and making a note of it.  It appeared more as a book than a manuscript and was different than the other two ways.  I've only done it once, but I'm going to try it again.  If it works, great!  If not, I can go back to my old standby of printing again (ouch!) or reading off my computer.

If It Doesn't Work, Try Something New
Never, never, never be afraid to try something new.  It's not as if you threw out that comfy chair and brought in a new one that makes your back ache.  What you did before a change can always be done again.  But I have a feeling that first way may end up being done in a small, but different way.

Love Yourself, Not Your Words
Great for Valentine's Day, right?  But it's true.  Sometimes things don't go right.  If your story is starting to read the wrong way, don't despair.  Words and ways can be adjusted and changed.  If needed, brainstorm with friends--writing friends are the best for this, not Mom or Aunt Jill or Best Friend Charlotte.  They will always LOVE your writing, even when it's bad.  If you're self-publishing, hire yourself a reader or an independent editor.

And when you're done...

Love Your Work
See how I worked that in to Valentine's Day? ;)
It's always a day brightener when an editor adds a note to a manuscript that something you thought funny is funny or something makes he/r smile.  Even better is having a reader tell you s/he loves your book.  In the process of writing, if you aren't loving what you do or something doesn't feel right, stop.  Then think.  If you're sick of writing and ready to throw in the towel, take a mini-vacation from writing and enjoy all the other things that life offers.  And there are so many things besides writing that life offers.  Grab one.  Or two.  Or even three.  But don't go away for long.  If you're really a writer, you'll stick with it.

Always learn through your mistakes.  Doing so is a gift that only we can give ourselves.  And what a perfect day for gifts!  Happy Valentine's Day!!  And pass the candy. ;)

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. ~ Charles M. Schulz

Ring it Out, Ring it In

It's that time of year again.  The end of the year.  For most, it's a time of reflection on the past year to make room for improvements in the new year.

Of course we want the new year to be better than the one before.  Life is a cycle of ups and down,  good things and not so good.  We all know this, but when we're hunkering at the bottom of not so good, it's hard to remember that things change.

Millions of people will make New Year's Resolutions tonight.  I don't do that.  Each time I have, they've vanished into the stratosphere in only a matter of days.  I've learned to be more goal oriented, but even that could use some tuning, and not something as easy as fine-tuning.  I'm working on that.

I've decided to blame all the bad things this year on the number of the year, itself.  I mean, look at it.  See that 13?  No, I don't really believe the number 13 is bad luck.  Expecting bad luck simply draws it into the real world.  But it's a nice excuse on which to blame those bad things.

If I could have one wish, it would to be like J.K. Rowling.  Not so much because of the fame and wealth, but what I could do with those two things.  I have a friend who recently started working in a homeless shelter here in our "fair" city.  She started just in time for Christmas, and she told me about a little girl.  I don't know how old the girl is, but she'd wanted a doll for Christmas.  Disappointed when it didn't appear, the girl's comment was, "I wanted a doll, but Santa ran out of them before he got to me, and I got gloves."  I have no doubt those gloves were needed, but imagine the joy on that little girl's face, if Santa hadn't run out of dolls.

The shelter is in need of coats.  New, only, because laws don't permit "used clothing" in this situation.  If I had J.K. Rowling's bank account, I'd buy they each person there, young, old, or in-between, a coat.  And a doll for that little girl.  Maybe next year?

I've been blessed this year with lessons learned.  Several of them within the past two months.  Those are the things I want to focus on as 2014 plays itself out.  I guess that is a sort of resolution.  If it is, so be it.  Or, as Captain Picard always said, "Make it so."

I hope you can "Make it so" this year in whatever way you choose.  Because, you know, life is a succession of choices.  When it comes to good ones, make it so.

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Life's Little Adjustments & Changes

Roll With the Changes.  Or so says REO Speedwagon.

Changes are hard, and the older we get, the harder it is to make changes.  But let's face it.  Trying to fight change is an effort in futility.  It's much better to roll with the changes and make the adjustments needed.

That's where I am.  Rolling.  Making adjustments.

We're finishing up our second week of school today, so life is getting a little smoother.  I have four trips each day to two different schools, so I'm on the road for short periods of time.  When I head out on the two afternoon trips, I leave early and take something with me to read, edit, or sometimes I even play games on my Kindle, if I feel I need a real break.  It's quiet time for me, something that's in short supply in the summer.  I like quiet time. ☺

We're even having to adjust to weather changes.  We started the summer with hot and dry.  In July, we finally had rain to ease the drought of the last few years.  That rain picked up and ran into August.  At the halfway mark of this month, we'd had two days when it didn't rain.  It got a bit soggy.  Now that we're nearly done with August, it's hot and dry again.  I have no doubt that will change.

While we don't always like changes, we'd get bored without them.  Beginning something new, finishing something old, and looking forward to more new things keep us going.  And isn't that what we want?  To keep on going?

Have a blessed end-of-summer, and roll with the changes it brings.

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. - Alan Watts 

Anything Is Possible

First, a quick note that Bestselling Author Kathie DeNosky (Harlequin Desire) is giving a workshop on Harlequin's website this week.  It's part of Camp Wannabe, created especially for those who aren't attending RWA's Conference in Atlanta.  Kathie's topic?  How to Plot Your Book the Easy Way.  Those participating are raving about it!    

Yes, it's true.  Anything is possible.  There's a catch, though.  It takes hard work and something else:  A goal to work toward.

I've been working on a new project, while waiting for word on a proposal I submitted a few months ago.  One of the things that bogs me down, when it comes to writing, is the waiting.  Write and write, then wait, and wait, and...  The waiting, not the writing, is the hardest part.  I tend to do little jobs during that waiting time.  Things like rearranging my office, sorting papers, playing spider solitaire, working on websites and wondering what else there was to do, besides waiting.  I'm smart enough to know that this downtime means getting out of the habit of writing.  When the muse goes into hiding, getting started again can be torture.  The muse refuses to be found.  This time I decided to try something to tempt the muse.

New Project, New Goal

Like most writers, I have old projects that I started and left behind.  I have projects that were rejected, some because they didn't "fit" the particular publishing line.  2+ weeks after I sent off that proposal, my determination to write during the waiting time hit big time.  I pulled out an old manuscript that didn't "fit" anywhere, and decided it was time to get to work on it, if only to lure the muse back to where she needed to be: On my shoulder, whispering that it was time to write.  Three chapters were already written (as per most full proposal length), the plot was there, so I knew where I was going.  On May 10, I started writing, beginning where I'd left off.  How long would it take to write nine more chapters?  I didn't know, but I wanted to give it a solid try with a rough draft, meaning no going back and tweaking, revising or rewriting.  Just moving forward.  By May 31, I'd written 200 pages.  I finished the epilogue (which hadn't been planned) on June 1.  Surprise!  I'd proven that if I seriously wrote most days (18 of the 21 days left in May), I could actually get a lot of writing done.

Another New Project?
With the rough draft finished, I thought, "Why not try it again with another?"  I took a day to look over an old proposal that I'd already tried reworking once before and decided the conflict was weak.  This new one needed some changes in those first three chapters that were already written, but it gained me 7 pages. I kept going.  By the end of the month, I'd finished almost four more chapters.  Then our local writing group's BIAW came up, and I set my goal at 40 for the eight days.  I wrote all but one day of those eight and ended up with 94 pages.  No, that's not a mistype.  94.  There was only one problem.  I'd planned on maybe 11 chapters, and I was now working on chapter 12, and there were more things to tell in the story.  Okay, 12 chapters would work.  Then it became 13.  I'm now working on the last scene of the book, the last of chapter 14.  I'll stand up and say that not everyone will write 20 pages or even 94 pages in a week, and that's okay.  I seriously doubt I'll repeat my all time high in this lifetime. ☺

Is this manuscript ready to publish?  Absolutely not!  It's rough.  I have the front of my notebook (story bible) covered in sticky notes.  But I know what needs to be done and where, and even how.  That "how" can be a real devil.

My work is cut out for me, but not now.  With an offer on a contract for those two submissions back in May, my attention must be focused on them.  Tonight, once that last 10 or so pages are written, I'll put the new 70,000+ words story aside.  Both manuscripts I've worked so diligently on to write will have a rest.  There's no deadline for them, but there are with book 9 and book 10 in the Desperation series.  I'll be wrapping that up, while another idea for a series simmers in the dark regions of my mind.  I'll take Friday (tomorrow) off, and start in Saturday on The Cowboy Meets His Match (that's a working title).  I won't be spending a lot of time trying to get back into the rhythm, because I haven't lost it.  This is not to say that I'll take a day or three or four break, here and there, until all is finished.  Life intrudes, and sometimes we simply need a break.  There's nothing wrong with taking a short one, then getting back to work.

Everybody needs a little time to do the things that they want to do and still do what needs to be done, whether it's a day job, being a mom or dad, or any other requirement.  Writers don't sleep, eat, and write only.  We're all human and need time to relax and do other things.  For writers, it can be a struggle to get back into writing again, after a long break.  Yes, it's tempting to take several weeks--a couple of months or more--to get away from writing.  After all, being chained to a desk isn't fun for anyone, even if it's doing something we love.  Train yourself to write on a regular basis and set goals.  You won't regret it.

By the way, there's a flip-side to this, too.  If the muse is whispering let's write and here's the perfect story in your ear, but you have other obligations, the frustration mounts.  Relax and adjust.  It's less painful.

Dreams seldom materialize on their own. -- Dian Fossey

Life is Full of...Stuff

It's raining.  Not that it matters.  At least it isn't snowing, as it did this past Tuesday night.  Not just a few flakes, but at least half an inch.  In April.  Late April.  Not December or even January or February.  April.  And this after the 20+ inches from the big snow in March.  Yeah, I'll take the rain.  We need it badly...if the snow and freezing temps didn't kill off every living green thing around.

Tuesday night was the first time I had a chance to kick back and not think about anything.  I watched a movie on HBO, then another on Wednesday night.  I think that's a record.  Movie/TV watching has been at a minimum this year.  Especially the past two weeks.

The middle of those two weeks were spent on writing three chapters and two synopses.  Something like 71 pages, plus plotting-in-a-rush.  Plus a daughter with a shattered back car window.  Tape was needed to keep a little rain out, so I went to the store and bought some for her.  Then half of Monday was spent picking kids up to take to school, a granddaughter who needed a ride to school, another granddaughter to an appointment, then to school, and topped off by a call from the school nurse, who'd run out of meds for oldest grandson.  I decided I needed a vacation.  Or an award.  Or at least one day of rest.

Rest doesn't come when needed.  Not ever.  Not even on weekends.  With three website jobs waiting, I'm still at the computer with no extra time.  Oh, okay.  I took a 3-hour nap yesterday evening.  It was that or get knocked out by my head hitting the desk.  With my luck, that kind of thing would give me a concussion.

Facebook, Twitter, Linkdin, Pinterest and all the rest have taken a backseat to bigger priorities.  In a couple of weeks, the current priorities will be finished and new will have arrived.  In another month, there'll be five kids between the ages of 3 and almost 12 to watch over, keep fed, and above all, keep safe.  We'll see how well that works.

Very few people have a life--or even consecutive days--of nothing to do.  Well, kids, do.  We know that because by the second week of summer vacation, we hear a continuous chorus of "I'm bored.  I don't have anything to do-o-o-o."  Anyone with children...or who have been one in the long ago past...can remember those days.  But we aren't kids.  We have responsibilities, jobs, families, and rarely enough time to do all of those things well.

So what do we do when life is full of stuff?  We schedule.  But what happens when the schedule becomes too full, leaving us with no extra time to simply kick back and relax?  Scheduling fun seems a bit forced, but if the time comes that it has to happen, when the body is near the point of collapse and the mind is too full of "musts" and "have-tos," when we stay up later to get things done and deprive ourselves of needed R&R, we really don't have a choice.

In Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way, taking one day a week for an "artist's date" is strongly encouraged.  Mandatory, even.  One day to get away (as if that's going to happen in my life) to enjoy the things around us.  Get out, take a walk, visit a museum a park or a mall, or simply sit in the backyard/on the patio/the deck/the balcony/the beach, and do nothing.  If sitting and doing nothing is difficult--it is for me--read or watch a movie, especially a favorite.  Sleep, if needed.  Let yourself go, at least for a little while, and refill the well of not only creativity, but of life.  Good things will happen.

It's definitely time to take my own words of advice.

The great omission in American life is solitude; not loneliness, for this is an alienation that thrives most in the midst of crowds, but that zone of time and space, free from the outside pressures, which is the incubator of the spirit.  ~Marya Mannes

Make Your Characters Real

 THE CREATIVE PROCESS

It's easy to fall into the trap of not fully "fleshing out" our characters.  Even with strong GMCs, our characters can still be flat and uninteresting.  And boring characters will have readers closing the book.

What does "fleshing out" mean?

Fleshing out means to expand or become more substantial.  For writers it means making characters more human.  There's nothing worse than a perfect person...or a perfect character.  And that's as if there really was a perfect person.  We do try, but we're human...and that's what the characters in our stories should be.

Each character must have, well, character.  After all, that's why they're called characters. ;)  Character is made up of different things.  Because no one (especially our characters!) is perfect, there are both positive and negative traits within our personalities, just as we have strengths and weaknesses.

• Human Traits
• Strengths
• Weaknesses

When thinking of main characters in a romance (hero and heroine), having different and sometime opposing traits, strengths and weaknesses, is ideal.  Here's a short list for some ideas:

Disciplined/Free Spirit
Homebody/Nomad
Driven & Determined/Lives for the Moment
Cheerful/Angry
Courageous/Fearful
Rigid/Adaptable

Don't shy away from putting them at odds from the very beginning.  Do be sure each trait is motivated (think backstory of character).  What has happened to the character in the past?  Or is happening now that will keep them apart?  (Remember that Push/Pull thing.)  For some reason, these characters should not come together and have a happily ever after.  Read the back covers of your favorite books for ideas, but mix them up, don't steal. ;)  It doesn't matter if the hero and heroine have a past together or not.  Don't always stay in the safe zone.  Mix it up.  The only thing to keep in mind is that motivation.

Give your characters weaknesses.  That's what makes them interesting and real.  Fear works well as a conflict.  It builds conflict.  Connect that fear to the the character's backstory and well-motivated goal that are counter to the other character's, and you're building the conflict between them.

Make them human.  Give your characters a personal habit or small mannerism that sets him/her apart.  I recently turned in a book with a hero who answers "Right," instead of "Yes" or "Okay."  I didn't intend it to happen, but that was a part of him.  Does the heroine cross her legs and nervously wave one foot when seated?  Does she slap her hands on her hips and jut out her chin when angry?  Be a people-watcher for mannerisms to use.

Make them different, even when it's different from the "real" them.
I'm a huge Susan Elizabeth Phillips fan.  Her books are funny and wildly emotional.  I have three that are my favorites.  The first is IT HAD TO BE YOU (Chicago Stars Series).  The heroine, Phoebe Sommerville, is my all-time favorite heroine, so when I had the good fortune to attend a writers' workshop given by SEP, I was thrilled when she talked about building characters using Phoebe as a example.  If you haven't read IT HAD TO BE YOU, Phoebe is a buxom, curvaceous woman and always dresses to show it off, who happens to wear pristine, white underclothing.  Nope, no thongs or bikini undies for her.  She uses her seemingly sexual appearance (through clothing, swiveling hips and pouty lips) as a shield to hide the real her.  There are reasons, meaning she is well-motivated.  What I remember most of that workshop was SEP sharing that she started with a very private heroine, who wore white, common-sense undies and bras.  That was the skeleton of the character.  As SEP built the rest of the character from the inside out,  Phoebe became a "sexpot" on the outside.  People saw one type of woman, but inside there was an insecure girl.  So even within one character, there was conflict, and that's what it's all about. Of course there's always Push/Pull within a character.  It's the I want but I can't have conundrum.  Let's face it, we all have a secret self.

The above is a reminder that our characters should reveal their true selves to the reader, long before revealing it to the other character.  Do it slow and easy.  Don't dump it immediately.  And when you do bring it out, little by little, show it, don't tell it.

Make your characters three-dimensional by using:

• Internal thoughts
• Emotions
• Actions

While your character may say and act one way, what that character is thinking (internal thoughts) and feeling may be quite the opposite.  Be certain you don't forget that or leave it out.  A character may be hard and unforgiving, but when it's shown that it isn't so by using internal thoughts along with clear motivation, that character has dimension.  As for actions, we all know the old saying that actions speak louder than words. Tears welling in the eyes, tone of voice, teeth or hand clenching, and more can be felt by the character and seen by the other.

Make them unforgettable.

When readers close your book at the end, you want them to feel an emotion.  A good emotion.  A smile, a happy sigh or even a tear will endear a reader to your characters and your book.  Make those characters touch the heart by becoming "real."

“I will go to my grave in a state of abject endless fascination that we all have the capacity to become emotionally involved with a personality that doesn't exist.” 

― Berkeley Breathed

When Your Motivation and Creativity Need a Boost

MOTIVATION MONDAYS

Life has been getting in the way lately, so I'm behind on blogging.  In fact, I nearly skipped today, but something came through in my email that caught my attention.

iVillage.com often has some great motivation tools for a variety of things in our lives.

• Need some decorating or storage ideas?  
• Need some motivation to exercise?  
• Need some tips on making your relationships better?  
• Need tips on healthy foods?

iVillage will send you an email on the latest tips and tricks for all that and more.

Today's topic is 10 Ways to Boost Your Creativity, and here are the highlights:

1. Break Your Routine
2. Do It
3. Daydream
4. Brainstorm
5. Interact with People
6. Schedule It
7. Expand Your Experiences
8. Reflect
9. Relax
10. Change Your Space

Those are just the tip of the iceberg.  Use the link above or below to see it all.

# 10 is what I did this weekend.  I moved most of the furniture in my office.  With colder weather coming on, I decided my desk in front of a window might not be the best idea.  Too bad I didn't have time to do some painting!  Now I get to spend the rest of the week (and weeks to come) sorting through all the boxes and containers to throw out the things no longer needed or wanted.  I'm hopeful I can downsize, which in itself will mean less clutter and more room to CREATE!

Be sure to visit 10 Ways to Boost Your Creativity at iVillage for more information on each of the 10 Ways listed above.

"You can't wait for inspiration, you have to go after it with a club." ~ Jack London

Smell the Roses

WRITING WEDNESDAYS

Too many of us live on a treadmill, doing the same things every day.  We get up, go to work, come home to watching TV, eat, sleep, and then start all over again the next day.  Weekends are often filled with doing the things we didn't have time for during the week.  Not fun things, but catching up on laundry, buying groceries, and other chores.  My own schedule isn't too far off that.  In fact, for the past few months, even weekends have resembled weekdays, with only bits and pieces of time to get away from work and the tedious schedule of day to day.  Let's face it.  This isn't the way to live.  It isn't healthy--physically or mentally.

Two weeks ago I blogged about refilling the well, and that's pretty much the theme of today's blog post, too. Why?  Because sometimes we have to be told over and over to give ourselves a break.  Sometimes we need to be reminded repeatedly that we need to do something for ourselves.  Not randomly, but on a regular schedule.

After doing a little research, I blogged about this same thing last Saturday at Bits & Bytes, and I decided to share a little of that here.  Yes, it's that important, especially for women, because we tend to spend a large portion of our lives doing for others. In fact, the prevalence for depression is twice as common in women as it is in men.  Looking back over my own life, I can definitely see that pattern.  Added to that are statistics showing that artists, writers, and creative people are also more apt to suffer from depression.

Houston, we have a problem. 

We need to stop and smell the roses.  

ARTIST DATE
Of the many things in Julia Cameron's book, The Artist's Way, one of the best ways to keep life on an even keel is to use Artist Dates.  "An artist date is a block of time, perhaps two hours weekly, especially set aside and committed to nurturing your creative consciousness, your inner artist.  In its most primary form, the artist date is an excursion, a play date that you preplan and defend against all interlopers."   

An Artist Date should be done once a week and ALONE.  Sorry, no taking the baby, or even the dog.  This is for you and you need to focus on yourself.  It's used for enjoyment and relaxation, not worry.  (Yes, it's time to be selfish!)  Suggestions include visiting a junk shop, a museum, a park, a concert, and more.  These "dates" don't have to cost money.    Keep your eyes and ears open (local newspapers, TV, and radio) for opportunities.


REFILL THE WELL
(From the list found at Well Done -- Bit's & Bytes)

• MUSIC  Is there anyone out there who doesn't enjoy listening to music?  Not music we listen to for inspiration while writing.  This music is for our own enjoyment, be it pop, rock, country, jazz, showtunes, classical, etc.  Whatever you choose, it should make you smile, calm your nerves, and, yes, even put you to sleep, if sleep is what you need.
• DANCE  Yes, dance. I'm pretty certain that if left alone, with no one around to watch, most of us could dance away some time.  Whether it comes from a radio, a playlist, a CD/Mp3 or whatever, put on some music with a beat, get on your feet, and dance.  In only a few minutes, you'll be smiling.  Maybe even laughing.  And probably winded. ☺ Your blood will be pumping, which will produce more endorphins, giving you a natural high.  Wow!
• YOGA/MEDITATION  Once again, both of these are catching on.  Why?  Because they can make us feel better, not only spiritually and mentally, but physically, too.  Don't believe me?  Look it up!
• WALKING  As with dance, this gets the body moving.  Try to walk outside, whenever possible.  That fresh air is good for the body and the soul.  Make a habit of it.  And remember to ENJOY!  Nature is all around us, so keep your eyes and ears open.
• WATCH A MOVIE  I love movies.  All kinds of movies.  Some lift me up, some make me think, some make me laugh, while others make me cry.  For that couple of hours, I can stop thinking of what might be wrong in my own life and let the story take me away.  Be sure to do this one on your own.  No hubby beside you on the sofa.  Just you.  And if you absolutely can't watch it alone at home, try looking for a local theater that has matinees at a reduced price.  We have one that shows movies about to go to DVD, and Tuesdays the tickets are $1.
• READ A BOOK  I'm guilty of not doing this one enough.  I get busy and forget, or when I do remember, I'm too tired for even the best of books to keep me awake.  One way of solving this is to set a specific day of the week and a specific time to read for an hour or two.  Maybe it's only a chapter or two, but it's something.  Or use reading a book by your favorite author as a reward for finishing your manuscript.
• TAKE A MINI-VACATION  Doesn't this one sound wonderful?  In the past, I would visit a high school friend in my old hometown.  It was nice to get away from home, and because we're both single now, we didn't have to answer to anyone.  An overnight in a hotel/motel can be a refreshing escape from family and work priorities.  Great for catching up on sleep, too!

Check out Exploring Women's Creativity: A Guide for Creative Women on www.Womenfolk.com for more ideas on Filling the Well, Renewal Through Walking and more.

No matter what you do, remember to be aware of what's going on inside and outside of you.  If you're not feeling well, see a doctor.  If you've over-scheduled yourself, find one or two things that can be dropped from your life or at least set aside for another time.  Learn how to say NO.  It's something we all need to do more often.  And SMILE!  You'll not only have fewer frown lines, but people will wonder what you've been up to!

“Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow.” ~  Douglas Pagels

Growing a Story

WRITING WEDNESDAYS

Doesn't "growing a story" sound nice?  It conjures up all kinds of words, like "nurturing" and "planting" and "blooming" and "blossoming."  Those words make a person want to dig in and start doing.

As a writer, if the word "plotting" causes you to run to the nearest corner and curl up in a fetal position, thumb in mouth, hair twisted around finger, there's a way to get around it.  Instead of "plotting," think "growing a story."  Why?  Because plotting is nothing more than the growth of an idea into a story with a beginning, a middle, and an end.

Like a garden where we prepare the foundation by turning up the soil where we'll be planting, we prepare our work area for a new story idea.  How many of you clear your desk, pull out a new notepad/notebook, or create a new folder on your computer?

I admit that I have what's become a ritual.  It begins with a new folder bearing the heroine's first name within my Manuscript folder in Documents.  Blanks of forms I'll be needing (storyboard, age chart, character list, pages written total, notes, and more) are added so I have them all in place in advance.  I fill them out as needed and as I go along.  I also put together a new 3-ring binder which contains sheet protectors where I'll keep printed copies of some of those forms, photos of the hero and heroine and anything else that might help me visually.  Yes, I probably overdo it, but it works, so why change it?

Next comes the seeds aka the ideas.  If only they came in order, writing a book would be so much simpler.  They don't, but by watering and fertilizing and giving them time to germinate, the garden begins to show signs of sprouts.  Once those start growing, we have to take care of the weeds, those ideas that don't work well with what is now the overall theme or framework of the story.  The strongest sprouts will become the 8 Plot Points of the story.  Again, those are:

1. Opening
2. Inciting Incident
3. Turning Points (1 or 2)
4. Main Turning Point
5. Black Moment
6. Sacrifice
7. Resolution
8. HEA

Those 8 are the connecting points.  The questions that need to be asked and answered to grow the story are what get the characters from point 1 (A) to 2 (B), from 2 (B) to 3 (C), and so on.  See them as the rows and areas of your garden, building from the beginning to the back end, smaller to larger as the story grows.  Pansies to Sweet Peas to Marigolds to Irises to Climbing Roses.

How to keep track of all this?  A storyboard.

(Disclaimer:  This is the way I do it.  This is NOT the only way. Take what might help, change it around, and make it YOURS.)

The average length of my books is 12 chapters.  I usually have 3 scenes per chapter.  That is NOT set in stone.  It depends on the story. ☺

Here's where I do the work... 

I LOVE whiteboards!  I can write on them or use paper and magnets.  I choose magnets and sticky note sized paper so I can move scenes around.  Sometimes they don't work where I'd first envisioned them!  (Sticky notes tend not to stick for me.)  I only need a brief idea of what the scene is about.  I'll build on that as I write the scene.  I can scribble that on the notes or when I have a good amount of scenes, I can print them on a page and cut them to size.

I was recently introduced to a new way of plotting those basics listed above, while at a writers retreat.  Author Patricia Davids used "Idea" paint on a wall, creating a huge surface that becomes a white board.  Five of us plotted a book for each of two writers, while Pat, then another wrote the ideas on the board.  From there, the writers would fill in the blanks (scenes) between those points.  I was impressed and intend to give it a try in the future.





This is the way I did it before the white board, so cork bulletin boards can work well, too!

(See the rows of seedlings and different types?)
 

Here's a basic version of a blank storyboard, created using a Word .doc, that will be filled out after I've finished plotting and am ready to start writing. Once it's filled out, it's saved and printed, then kept in a sheet protector in my notebook, so I have it on hand as I write the first draft.

Does all of this have to be done to plot a story?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  It took me a long time to come up with something that worked for me.  I discovered the .doc storyboard above in an old handout book from an RWA conference.  (I'd love to credit the author who created it, but I don't know who it was.)  With that in hand, I changed, added, and removed until I found what worked for me. The white board and paper storyboard is only the latest incarnation, and I have no doubt that I'll be tweaking and making changes yet again before long.

If you've never plotted but feel you should, or if your plotting style just doesn't seem to be working for you, see if any portion of the above will help you.  Always feel free to recreate or adjust any kind of plotting device, until it suits you.  That's the best part.  Nothing is set in stone and improvements can always be made. :)

So where do I start when the tiny glimmer of an idea hits?  I'll share that next week. :)

My stories run up and bite me on the leg - I respond by writing down everything that goes on during the bite. When I finish, the idea lets go and runs off. ~ Ray Bradbury

Cooking Up a Story

WRITING WEDNESDAYS

There are countless articles online for writers that offer all kinds of different ways to go about plotting.  To find them, a simple search for "novel plotting" will produce a gold mine of information.  Some require a lot of detailed work, while others are simple and basic.

After almost twenty years of writing, when it comes to plotting, I've come to the conclusion that each writer must find his or her own method.  That method may be completely designed by the writer from scratch or may be a compilation by that writer of other methods or ways of plotting created by others.

Once you've found your method and use it for a while, you may discover it isn't working as well as it has been and that it needs adjustment for a particular piece of work. Sometimes the entire process needs an overhaul. The main thing to remember is that if whatever you're doing or whatever you're using isn't working, change it or don't use it.  There's nothing worse than trying to wrestle a story using a method that isn't doing the job.  It's a waste of time and energy.

So what are the basics of plotting that a writer uses to build on?  Here's my list:

1. HOW THE STORY BEGINS - An interesting opening that introduces the major characters, the setting, and the conflict or at least a strong hint of it for one of the major characters.  (My focus is romance, but if yours isn't, simply adjust specifics--hero/villain/heroine/protagonist/antagonist, etc)  This does not necessarily mean the opening line, but the gist of the first few pages or scene.
2. THE INCITING INCIDENT - This is where the major conflict comes into play.  It may have been introduced earlier, but something is revealed or learned that makes it the focus of the characters and begins their--always bumpy--journey to their HEA.
3. TURNING POINTS - Something happens that causes a shift or change in the story.  In romance, this is often where one of the characters realizes their feelings for the other character have changed.  Maybe there's a kiss...or more.  Maybe a small secret is revealed.  Maybe the character learns something about the other that makes a difference in how that other character is seen.  The amount of turning points may depend on the length of the story.
4. MAIN TURNING POINT - This is where there's a big change in the story.  In a romance, this change is in the relationship between the hero and heroine.  Everything that has come into play up to this point is now going to shift.  The conflict will change or be seen in a completely different way, as if through different eyes.  The story is about to kick into high gear for the race to the finish line.
5. THE BLACK MOMENT - The brakes come on and everything (the relationship) comes to a screeching halt.  This usually occurs a chapter or two before the last chapter and is where all seems lost to the main characters.  Something irreparable has occurred for at least one of them.  In romance, these two characters are not going to get together for that HEA.  Or so they believe.
6. THE SACRIFICE - One character (or both) must realize that they are not willing to walk away from "what might have been" and they'll do whatever is necessary to make it happen.
7. THE RESOLUTION - Something happens or a characters makes something happen that changes everything, and that HEA is within reach.
8. HEA - Happily Ever After.  The hero and heroine have done whatever is fix any problems they've had in the past, then pledge their love and commitment to each other.  In a mystery, the mystery is solved and the bad guy is caught.

Do I know all of these things at once?  Oh, I wish!  My story ideas usually start with an idea of an opening and a vague idea of the conflict.  At least one of the characters or the personality of one of the characters is a major part of that idea.  Sometimes I'm blessed with luck when the opening scene plays out in my head to tantalize me and make me start asking questions.  It's those questions and the answers that begin the fill-in-the-blank process of plotting.  What happens if even the questions aren't coming along as they should?  That's when I start dialing the phone for some brainstorming.  And while we may not come up with an entire plot, there are enough ideas generated to kick-start the creative spot in my brain to fill in those blanks and move forward with the story.

It's a crazy system and may not work for everyone, but it can be a starting point if you're new at plotting or have hit a brick wall and aren't sure where to turn.  Keeping track of everything and how it plays out can also be crazy time, and because I'm a visual person and need to see where I've been, where I am, and where I'm headed, I use a storyboard.  I'll share my version of that next week.

If writing by the seat of your pants isn't working, or if you simply want to try something new, stick around.  Whatever you do and however you do it, enjoy the journey!

“You are the embodiment of the information you choose to accept and act upon. To change your circumstances you need to change your thinking and subsequent actions.” - Adlin Sinclair 

The Name of the Game is Scheduling

MOTIVATION MONDAYS

Now don't start moaning and groaning.  Believe me, I understand the pain the word "schedule" can cause.  I've always been one of those people who likes to do things when I'm in the mood...or when I absolutely can't put them off any longer.  In fact, I still have some winter clothes to put away, but since I'm asleep most of the time when I'm in my bedroom, I'm only reminded twice a day.

The thing is, I've had to learn to at least rough out an idea of when I need to do things.  Book deadlines can do that, forcing a more non-conformist into something resembling a pretzel if the lesson isn't learned early.

But writing isn't the only thing in our lives that we sometimes need to fit into a schedule.  With four girls, leaving doing laundry until clean clothes were needed would have been a disaster.  Although my house wasn't always visitor-ready, there were times when I followed a stringent schedule.  Looking back, that schedule wasn't such a bad idea.

Schedules aren't just for getting things done.  They're also for giving us more time to enjoy the things in life we might otherwise not have time for...because we're doing those have-to and need-to things we didn't get done.  That usually happens because we've found some super ways to waste time.  Ouch!


According to ADHD experts, who really know a lot about being a space cadet or having trouble staying on task, there small things we can do to make our lives go a little more smoothly.  Those small things can quickly become our best time savers.

• Do you forget appointments or that you need to be somewhere?  Or do you lose track of time in the morning, causing you to have to rush or be late to work?  Set an alarm!  It's easy to get involved in something else so much that we lose track of time.  My daughters will be happy to share memories of the times that I was late picking them up from school.  Now that they're grown, there are the grandkids, and although the school is only a couple of minutes away, I need to get there early.  I also am easily distracted, so I've set an alarm on my phone for five minutes before I need to leave, allow myself one "snooze," and then I'm out the door on time.
• Are you feeling overwhelmed about a task?  Set a timer.  Oh, yeah, this one works.  There are times that the thought of having to sit and write X number of pages just makes me want to crawl in a corner.  I've learned that if I set a timer for ten minutes and actually start putting words on paper--whether they're good or not--by the time that timer goes off, I'm actually getting into a rhythm and don't want to stop.  On those occasions when that doesn't happen, at least I accomplished a little.  Eventually and in a much shorter period of time, I'll get it done.
• Is a big project--or even the thought of it--getting you down?  Break the project into smaller, more manageable goals.  Not only does this help make things easier to accomplish, the accomplishment itself can help keep you going.  A book isn't written in one day.  Even if you tried it, you'd find that life is going to demand your attention.  Even meals will need to be prepared/purchased and eaten.  A few pages a day, four or five days a week will do the trick and not take huge chunks of your time.  The trick is remembering that if you write 1 page a day without fail, in a year you'll have a 365 page novel.  And don't forget to reward yourself when each step--maybe a chapter?--is reached!
• Do you walk out of the house, forgetting the car keys, your cell phone or other important items?  That means using precious time to look for what's missing.  Instead, designate a spot near the door for the things you know you'll need.  I finally solved my problem of losing my keys.  I bought a coiled plastic chain that I've attached to my purse and the other has a hook for my keys.  It can tuck into my purse, and it's also long enough to reach the ignition when my purse is next to me on the seat.  Another plus is not worrying about locking my keys in the car.  It's much harder to miss my purse than it is to miss pulling the keys out of the ignition.  Oh, and I love purses with pockets--on the outside and inside--giving everything its own place.
• Do you lose track of time while playing games online, spending time on Facebook or Twitter or even reading blogs?  There's no reason to give up the things you enjoy, only because you've let those things take over your life and your time.  All you need to remember is "moderation in all things" and to set a timer or alarm.
• Are you overwhelmed by all the mundane tasks that are leaving you no room for others?  Ask for help.  Kids, husbands, roommates, anyone who resides with you or even near you is prime for being helpful.  Sometimes all that's need is to ask.  Other times it might require a little training time. Whether is kids folding laundry or hubby sharing cooking duty, there's always something that someone can help with that will free up a bit of your time.

Don't have a clue how to create a schedule?  Check out some online tips and tricks for created a schedule to suit your lifestyle, below, or do a search for others.

• How to Create a Daily Schedule (eHow) 
• Using EXCEL for Schedules and Planners
• Optimize Your Productivity with Daily, Weekly Routines (Zen Habits)

Remember, it may take some adjustments and extra time to find exactly what works best for you.  Even then, nothing is set in stone.  You can adjust your schedule whenever you feel it's needed or when major life changes demand it.  Just don't give up too early, if you feel overwhelmed and have over-scheduled yourself.  That's when a step back and reassessment is needed.

Thanks to iVillage.com for some ideas on the tips used in this blog post!

Moderation in all things. - Andria Terence, Roman comic dramatist (185 BC - 159 BC) 

Scarlett O'Hara Syndrome

MOTIVATION MONDAYS


You may be asking, what is Scarlett O'Hara Syndrome.  There's a simple answer to that.

"I won't think about that now, I'll think about that tomorrow." 

Back in January of this year, I declared each Monday to be Motivational Monday here on the blog.  The reason was that I'd been procrastinating about all kinds of things, but mostly about things that needed to be done--some desperately needing to be done-- that I'd kept putting off.

I've been working on that problem and although I'd love to say I have it solved, that would be a lie.  Still, I've made some progress.  Most of the time, anyway.

If we tend to put many things off until later, it's probably a habit we formed long ago.  It can be changed, but it takes some work...which probably brings another round of procrastinating.  Definitely a vicious circle.  But it can be better, and a round of seeing a shrink isn't necessarily needed.  Sometimes it's best to just do than to study why it isn't done.

A friend and fellow writers group member blogged at Bits & Bytes on Thursday about her own procrastination. Because I'd been putting off the need to get some words on paper or work on revisions or do a few other things, her post was a painful reminder that I sometimes have that P word problem, too.  Let's face it.  At one time or another, we each will put off what needs to be done the most.

When it comes to writers, when procrastination becomes a normal part of the writing life, there's a chance it's because of one of two reasons:  Fear of Failure or Fear of Success.

Only the procrastinating writer can decided which fear has gained the power to immobilize.  And trying to determine it could end up being yet another tool in avoidance.  So what's a procrastinator to do?  Especially a writer with dreams of being published or a published writer who has fallen into a writing slump?

Here are a few suggestions to try that might break the stagnation and kick start some forward movement.

BEGIN NOW

• Stop beating yourself up.  You can make a change.  
• Stop complaining and whining (yes, we all do it), and form a plan.
• Make a fresh start.  There's nothing we can do to change what we did or didn't do in the past, so leave it behind.
• Set a goal.  Don't sabotage yourself before you begin, so make it small and attainable to begin with.  If your writing has become non-existent or almost non-existent, and you want to change that, set a weekly page or word count goal.  Keep it small.
• Make a new habit.  A GOOD one. ☺  Get up an hour early and devote it to writing or whatever it is you need to do.  Turn off the television for an hour or two in the evening.  If you're a writer, take a pad and pen or a laptop computer and go to a library or coffee shop or even to a park and write.  I've found that my morning walk clears the cobwebs from my brain and gets it working, so that by the time I'm  home again, I have an idea of what I'll be writing.
• Give yourself little rewards whenever you reach a goal.

ENLIST FRIENDS

• Ask a friend to help keep you on track.  Even if the two of you don't share the same goal, you can still  support and encourage each other.
• Find others who are dealing with or have dealt with the same problem and brainstorm some ideas that might help.
• Challenge someone who struggles with the same thing you do.  Remember that it's not who does it best, but that each of you are DOING.

Sometimes there's only one way and that's the Nike way.  "Just Do It"  We can make excuses until the end of time, but if we really want something, we have to take that first step.  After that, the road ahead doesn't look quite as daunting.

If procrastination is something you deal with and you find yourself going nowhere, or if you have some ideas that may help others, please feel free to share them here!


Thank you to Tammy, Reese, Pat, and Debo for the inspiration for this post, their always super ideas, and their friendship.


In the end of GWTW, the real Scarlett--- the strong, independent woman, who never let anyone or anything get her down---gives us all hope.

"Tara! Home. I'll go home. And I'll think of some way to get him back. After all... tomorrow is another day." - Scarlett O'Hara, the last lines of Gone With the Wind