Finishing the Dream

WRITING WEDNESDAY
We all dream of things, and especially of doing things.  Writers want to sell a best-selling book.  But without a book to sell, the dream will never come true.

Instead of dreaming, let's start doing.

The first key to the writing dream is to write.  Yeah, you probably already knew that. ☺  But it bears repeating.  Keep telling yourself WRITERS WRITE, and it will become so ingrained in you that you'll start writing, hopefully on a regular basis.  If that means an hour each morning or evening is all you have for writing, do it.  Write.

The second key to to the writing dream is to finish a book.  Hey, isn't that your dream?  Well, a huge step toward your dream, at least.  So what's keeping you from doing it?

EXCUSES FOR NOT WRITING

1. I have a family to care for.  Having been a wife for twenty-four years, and a mom for thirty-four, I understand how hard it is to find the time to do the things you dream of doing.  But hard isn't the same as impossible.  Mothers--and fathers, too--often find their lives filled with nothing but catering to others.  There's nothing wrong with fulfilling responsibilities, but you also should have responsibilities to yourself.  You should give some time to making yourself enjoy the things you want (and need?) to do to be a well-rounded person.
2. I work long hours at my day/night job.  Yeah, I've been there and done that.  Now I work at home, and I still find it difficult to find the time to do everything.
3. I don't know where to start.  You are not alone.  Most people don't, at least in the beginning.
4. I don't have the knowledge to know how to write a book.  Nobody knows everything.  If you have children, do you remember what you knew about babies before having one?  Did you know everything about your job when you were first hired?  Probably not.
5. I don't have a place to write.  Very few do, in the beginning.

Basically, the above are cop-outs.  Excuses.  A way to not fail, because if you don't try, you can't fail.  Here's another:  Don't have a computer or typewriter?  Countless books over the years and up to this moment are written by hand.  There's always an answer and a way, if it's what you truly want.  Miracles happen.  Let them.

Let's take a quick look at the above excuses.

• I have a family to care for.  Yes.  It's "difficult" doesn't mean you can't do it.  Get up an hour earlier in the morning, when the family is still sleeping.  Or stay up an extra hour at night.  Or write when the children are napping or after they've gone to bed.  Write while dinner cooks.  Write while waiting at the school for the kids to emerge, all full of energy.  Write during their sporting events.  Not the entire event, especially if your child is playing, but during the warm-up at every other game?  You don't need huge blocks of time.  Smaller ones work as well. They're there.  Look and you will find.
• I work long hours at my day/night job.  Do you have a lunch hour or half hour?  Write.  Or at least think about your story and take notes.  Yes, we all want to chitchat with our work friends, but two or three days of the week, take take for yourself and your writing.  I'm also familiar with the rest of this.  "And I go home to care for my family."  Do you watch television?  Cut out one to three programs a week and use that time for writing.  Go into an empty room, shut the door--after explaining that you are not to be bothered unless there's blood involved.  Or flames. Or flooding over six inches.  We have to be real about this.  Delegate.  Let the kids or hubby clear the table--if they aren't doing it already--and do the dishes.  Let hubby or oldest child who is responsible watch the others.  And DO NOT feel guilty about taking time for yourself, whether it's writing, spending time with friends, exercising, or taking a walk.  Give yourself the gift of time.  If needed, ask family members to brainstorm with you about how you can find some time.  Remind them that a fulfilled mom is a happy mom.  (This all includes dad-writers, too.)
• I don't know where to start.  This one is hard for me to understand.  If you want to write, there must be something you want to write about.  The answer is at the beginning...of the story, of an idea, of a character, a snippet of conversation or internal thoughts, a snippet of scene playing in your mind.  All of those and others are the beginning.  Your beginning of an idea.  If they aren't coming together, write them down.  In time, they'll evolve, especially if you give them a read, now and then.
• I don't have the knowledge to know how to write a book.  Then I have to believe you've never read a book.  Ever.  It's a story of a person...or two people...or a family...or an incident...or...  My advice?  Read more books!  After that, find books about writing.  There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of books out there about writing.  Or try online.  Look for the basics, at first.  Worry about the details later.  Join a writers group.  You'll immediately discover that you are not crazy, or if you are, you aren't the only one.  People in writers groups, both live and online, can be the door that opens your world of writing.  The plus is finding new friends who won't put you down for wishing and dreaming.
• I don't have a place to write.  I chuckle at this one.  Why?  Because I have a place, but not a day goes by--or an hour--when someone doesn't step in to tell me something or ask a question.  And if I'm home alone, the phone will ring.  Oh!  You mean a real place?  Then make one.  A corner in your bedroom, the attic, the basement, the kitchen or dining room table, although that does mean that when mealtime comes, you'll be moving your things elsewhere.  Go outside and write.  In your car, if necessary.  Even the library!

Excuses are now gone.  Start writing.  Don't worry about what it's about.  If this is your first time to write, revel in it.  Enjoy it!  You're writing!

Now that you're beginning, don't worry about finishing quite yet.  We'll really take a close look at that next week on Writing Wednesday.  You're dreaming of writing and you're making that dream come true!  That's what's important right now.

I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying. ~ Michael Jordan

Time, Schedules, and Crazy Life

Prepare for a whine.

Time?  Not enough.
Schedules?  Overrun
Crazy Life?  Totally

My #3 daughter is getting married in two weeks.  I'm not that involved in the wedding preparations, but I'm not completely out of the circle of planning and doing.  Just listening takes a lot of time.  Most days and weeks, I have that time.  Right now?  Uh, no.

#4 daughter, the youngest, is now working part-time in the office where #2 daughter works.  This means another pickup trip during mid-day.  I now have one drop-off and three pickups.  Longest period between each is less than three hours.  And that's only the weekdays.

Except for last weekend, every weekend is full until after the wedding.  Although the plans for the weekend fell through, youngest and I, along with oldest, spent time shopping for a dress I will wear to the wedding.  I'll be walking the bride down the aisle, so it does matter.  And I hate shopping for clothes!

But it's these next two weeks and weekends that may prove to be my undoing.  This week is parent/teacher conferences for grade schools in our city.  Since Wednesday, students have been let out at 1:30.  Next week, middle grade students will let out at 12:30...the same time I pick up youngest daughter at work.  And then Thursday and Friday, no school for everyone!  (That sound you hear is my headed banging on my desk.)  If I look on the bright side, that means no running back and forth to take and drop off students.  I'll accept that as a plus, but it means we're back to summertime madness for two...full...days.

Upcoming weekends include Woofstock, our state's Humane Society fundraiser, and this year we're taking Max.  I'll post photos next week.  The next weekend involves the bachelorette party at a local eat-and-drink club.  This is the first I'll get to attend.  Usually, I'm the babysitter.  This time I said NO.

The wedding, with reception, dinner and dance, is the final event.  Wouldn't a vacation be perfect after that?  But by then, I'll be in the middle of writing a proposal (3 chapters & full synopsis) for the next book, due a month later.

My plan was to have this current book polished and sent to my editor early.  My goal now (along with prayer) today and for this weekend is to finish that polish.  Yikes!  I'm almost two weeks behind on the schedule I made, but at least I'll make deadline.  Life does get in the way. I live by the old saying, "No rest for the wicked."

The point is that we all have schedules, and there are times in our lives that are more filled with to-do's than at others.  Crazy times.  We get through them, rest a while, then end up with our noses to the grindstones or hands on the steering wheel and foot on the gas pedal, only to do it all again.  It's the cycle of our lives.  Sometimes a short lull turns into a long and boring downtime, and we all know that isn't mentally healthy.  We all need goals to work toward...and those shouldn't be goals of sleeping the day and night away.  (That sounds heavenly!)  And we need those quiet times in between to catch our breaths.  We survive.

Make it fun, no matter what.  Get up and dance!

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. ~ John Lennon

Incentives and Rewards

WRITING WEDNESDAYS

Ask any child who has been in school for the past couple of decades what teachers did to get them to work.  Ask anyone whose livelihood depends on receiving a regular paycheck what gets them to work every day.  Ask anyone training for the Olympics or the Symphony or the stage what gets them to practice.

We all need a reason to do what we do, and many times that reason is that we'll receive something in exchange for doing it.

I didn't realize how much time had changed until my daughters started school and came home with something called Bonus Bucks or even a colorful pencil or handful of candy.  Teachers had learned that using incentives helped students try harder to get their work done so they could get a small reward.  I don't remember incentives other than good grades when I went to school.  My parents didn't pay me for my grades and, in turn, I didn't pay my children for them either.  The incentive wasn't tangible at the time and wouldn't be until I held a diploma aka reward in my hand.  That was the incentive and the reward for studying.  Either way, we had a reason to go to school and learn.

As writers, we, too, need incentives and rewards to keep at our craft, to put words on paper, to finish the book, to bite the bullet and send it to an editor or agent.  There's no reason to list the rewards.  Anyone who is seriously writing knows them as well as their own names.  It's the same for published authors as it is for those not yet published.  We all want a finished product to put in the hands of readers who will enjoy our words.

The longer we write, the more we forget about the little things that can help keep us going.  I'm as bad as anyone else about writing every day, even though I know it keeps my brain fresh and my fingers more nimble.  Or nimble, at least. :)  Since February, I've been working on deadlines for two books that will be available next year.  That's seven months of telling myself to write every day and making a schedule so I don't lose sight of where I am and where I need to be, when I'd rather be doing anything else but writing.  It's easy to procrastinate in the middle of a book.  Weeks have been spent writing, and weeks more are needed.  It's like standing in the middle of a tightrope.  Where we came from is the same distance as where we're going, and the best we can do is hope we don't lose our balance.

Over the past seven months I've learned a few lessons.  Although small, they're important.

• I should always...ALWAYS...count on something coming along to screw up the perfect schedule I created with lots of extra time built in.
• While I used to write at night, now I'm up early in the morning to take grandkids to school, so by the time 9 p.m. rolls around, it's as if my memory has dried up and blown away.  I'm lucky to remember my own name, much less the names of my current characters...or family.
• I can't always count on weekends for catching up on the writing that didn't get done during the week.  Someone or something will always come along and steal my time, whether it's an unexpected visit from one or more of the g-kids, an unplanned shopping excursion, or a car that won't start.
• Even when I think I'm almost done, I'm not.  There's always another story rattling around in my head before the first is finished.  To be honest, there should be.
• ....  Can we say brb?

Right.  I didn't finish that last one.  I forgot about an appointment and had to leave, so 5 1/2 hours later, I'm back and don't have a clue what that last one is.  See how that works?

Back to the topic...

Big rewards are good, but when looking at the goal from three months out, that reward dims in the light of day.  The cure?  Choose small, daily incentives with rewards to keep moving along.  That doesn't mean spending money.  There are many things that can be even more helpful to meet those small, daily goals.  It's the new fall season for TV, and what better time to set a goal and work to reach it before your favorite show comes on?  Or maybe a chapter of a book you want to read.  Or, like me, just being able to mark my progress on a calendar and word count table can give me a lift or be an incentive to do better the next time.

And for the rewards?  Something special, always.  Today I was able to put FINIS on my current work, so not only is the pressure off, but I have a few days to kick back and be free from writing.  Not much of a reward?  Maybe not, but Fall Renaissance Fair is this weekend, and I know of a special gift to get myself.  Then back to work on Monday and a fresh new start on a new story and new schedule.

Have a wonderful rest of the week!  Make your journey as joyous as your destination.

Call it what you will, incentives are what get people to work harder. ~ Nikita Khrushchev 

The Downside of 3-Day Weekends

WRITING WEDNESDAYS

The first three-day weekend of the new school year has just passed, and I'm still scratching my head over what happened to all those best laid plans.

Yes, I know.  Three-day weekends are supposed to be wonderful.  This Labor Day weekend was not.  At least it wasn't wonderful in the sense that it went according to plan, that I was able to scratch things off my list and enjoy the days.

Scarlett & Allie with Darth

On Saturday, my plan was to write the last chapter of Designs on the Cowboy. Instead, #3 daughter Chelsea (#3D) decided to take me, #4D Mallory, and her two nieces Allie and Scarlett to the Star Wars exhibition in town for the final three days.  Yes, I could have said no, but miss seeing all that great Star Wars stuff?  (Remember, I'm old enough to have seen Episode IV in the theater when it first came out.)  So the hour or so that she assured me was all the time it would take became the whole afternoon.  That included about a 1/3 round of mini-golf in the upper 90s heat.  Evening was spent at #1D Sabrina's for dinner and insanity.
Saturday was blown, but worth it.

On Sunday I finished writing the last chapter aka the book is finished.  First draft, anyway.  (By the way, it went on and on and on and will have to be severely cut before calling the whole thing "done".)  Monday was spent trying to figure out where I lost control of my weekend and life.  Nothing that I'd planned, except the finish of that last chapter, was accomplished over the three-day weekend.

So here's how it went down:

• Monday (Labor Day) was a non-day.  No blog post even considered, since I was trying to discover where the weekend had gone.
• Tuesday was, well, it was Monday, but it wasn't Monday enough to blog about.
• Wednesday was Tuesday, and there's really nothing to a Tuesday, so I worked on websites due at the end of this (insane) week.
• Thursday (today) is Wednesday, so I'm writing/typing this blog.

The question now becomes:  Is tomorrow really Friday?

Next three-day weekend?  Sometime next year.  Maybe that's a good thing, after all. :)

I could easily escape to a hotel for a weekend and do absolutely nothing. ~  David Boreanaz

Staying On Track

MOTIVATION MONDAYS

My favorite season is just around the corner.  In fact, if this morning's low temperature of 63 degrees is any indication, it just might be here in time for September.  I won't hold my breath on that, though.  This year has not been a model for seasons.

Fall (aka Autumn) has always been a symbol of new beginnings for me. While New Year's Eve/Day is the traditional time to make changes and set new goals, mine has always been that time when the new school year rolls around.  And while it's been (mumble, mumble) years since I've attended school, I haven't been able to shake that new and exciting feeling when Back-to-School time rolls around and the promise of a new start is in the cool, crisp air.

Back-to-School for me now means fewer small people in my home, and this year there'll be four of the five grandkids heading back on Wednesday.  Only one--3-year-old Payton--will be here.

While I would love to say that I'll be looking into that fresh start this week, I can't honestly do that.  I'm in the middle of a deadline and halfway through finishing the book.  It's been a wild ride this year.  One would think that as the g-kids grow older, the watching-over of them would be easier.  No, it's more like the older they grow, the bigger they get, taking up more space that the year before.  It's getting crowded in here!  Writing during the day used to be doable.  Now it's become impossible.  That means less gets done, and that leads to getting behind on goals.  When I get behind on goals, I'm more easily distracted.  That's cause for trouble.

I have a long list of things I want to do--office rearranging, bedroom fixing up, movies to watch, a new season on TV--but I have to tell myself to be patient.  I can meet that deadline if I stay on track.  It's only a month away.  All those things can wait for a little while.  Come Wednesday, my schedule will change and I'll be making adjustments, but I'm looking forward to it.  There may be a switch in the track, but I'm staying on.  After all, there's a promise of a new start in the early morning air.

Are you setting new goals or are you working on current ones?  If neither, why not?

If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living. ~ Gail Sheehy

The Name of the Game is Scheduling

MOTIVATION MONDAYS

Now don't start moaning and groaning.  Believe me, I understand the pain the word "schedule" can cause.  I've always been one of those people who likes to do things when I'm in the mood...or when I absolutely can't put them off any longer.  In fact, I still have some winter clothes to put away, but since I'm asleep most of the time when I'm in my bedroom, I'm only reminded twice a day.

The thing is, I've had to learn to at least rough out an idea of when I need to do things.  Book deadlines can do that, forcing a more non-conformist into something resembling a pretzel if the lesson isn't learned early.

But writing isn't the only thing in our lives that we sometimes need to fit into a schedule.  With four girls, leaving doing laundry until clean clothes were needed would have been a disaster.  Although my house wasn't always visitor-ready, there were times when I followed a stringent schedule.  Looking back, that schedule wasn't such a bad idea.

Schedules aren't just for getting things done.  They're also for giving us more time to enjoy the things in life we might otherwise not have time for...because we're doing those have-to and need-to things we didn't get done.  That usually happens because we've found some super ways to waste time.  Ouch!


According to ADHD experts, who really know a lot about being a space cadet or having trouble staying on task, there small things we can do to make our lives go a little more smoothly.  Those small things can quickly become our best time savers.

• Do you forget appointments or that you need to be somewhere?  Or do you lose track of time in the morning, causing you to have to rush or be late to work?  Set an alarm!  It's easy to get involved in something else so much that we lose track of time.  My daughters will be happy to share memories of the times that I was late picking them up from school.  Now that they're grown, there are the grandkids, and although the school is only a couple of minutes away, I need to get there early.  I also am easily distracted, so I've set an alarm on my phone for five minutes before I need to leave, allow myself one "snooze," and then I'm out the door on time.
• Are you feeling overwhelmed about a task?  Set a timer.  Oh, yeah, this one works.  There are times that the thought of having to sit and write X number of pages just makes me want to crawl in a corner.  I've learned that if I set a timer for ten minutes and actually start putting words on paper--whether they're good or not--by the time that timer goes off, I'm actually getting into a rhythm and don't want to stop.  On those occasions when that doesn't happen, at least I accomplished a little.  Eventually and in a much shorter period of time, I'll get it done.
• Is a big project--or even the thought of it--getting you down?  Break the project into smaller, more manageable goals.  Not only does this help make things easier to accomplish, the accomplishment itself can help keep you going.  A book isn't written in one day.  Even if you tried it, you'd find that life is going to demand your attention.  Even meals will need to be prepared/purchased and eaten.  A few pages a day, four or five days a week will do the trick and not take huge chunks of your time.  The trick is remembering that if you write 1 page a day without fail, in a year you'll have a 365 page novel.  And don't forget to reward yourself when each step--maybe a chapter?--is reached!
• Do you walk out of the house, forgetting the car keys, your cell phone or other important items?  That means using precious time to look for what's missing.  Instead, designate a spot near the door for the things you know you'll need.  I finally solved my problem of losing my keys.  I bought a coiled plastic chain that I've attached to my purse and the other has a hook for my keys.  It can tuck into my purse, and it's also long enough to reach the ignition when my purse is next to me on the seat.  Another plus is not worrying about locking my keys in the car.  It's much harder to miss my purse than it is to miss pulling the keys out of the ignition.  Oh, and I love purses with pockets--on the outside and inside--giving everything its own place.
• Do you lose track of time while playing games online, spending time on Facebook or Twitter or even reading blogs?  There's no reason to give up the things you enjoy, only because you've let those things take over your life and your time.  All you need to remember is "moderation in all things" and to set a timer or alarm.
• Are you overwhelmed by all the mundane tasks that are leaving you no room for others?  Ask for help.  Kids, husbands, roommates, anyone who resides with you or even near you is prime for being helpful.  Sometimes all that's need is to ask.  Other times it might require a little training time. Whether is kids folding laundry or hubby sharing cooking duty, there's always something that someone can help with that will free up a bit of your time.

Don't have a clue how to create a schedule?  Check out some online tips and tricks for created a schedule to suit your lifestyle, below, or do a search for others.

• How to Create a Daily Schedule (eHow) 
• Using EXCEL for Schedules and Planners
• Optimize Your Productivity with Daily, Weekly Routines (Zen Habits)

Remember, it may take some adjustments and extra time to find exactly what works best for you.  Even then, nothing is set in stone.  You can adjust your schedule whenever you feel it's needed or when major life changes demand it.  Just don't give up too early, if you feel overwhelmed and have over-scheduled yourself.  That's when a step back and reassessment is needed.

Thanks to iVillage.com for some ideas on the tips used in this blog post!

Moderation in all things. - Andria Terence, Roman comic dramatist (185 BC - 159 BC)