Monday, June 9, 2014

The Missing In Action Thing

There was a point in the past ten days when I wasn't sure I'd be here.  This time last month, I was hit with what I thought was an asthma attack, something I haven't dealt with but a couple of times, and the most recent being four or five years ago.

A trip to a local pharmacy clinic netted me some meds and a bill that sucked up my quarterly royalties.  Because I was locked out of by some kind of glitch, I have no health insurance.  Okay, I'm not whining.  It happened to a lot of people and will be taken care of as time goes by.  Until then, I'll do what I can and hope for the best.

The meds helped...for a while, then I felt worse, then a little better, then worse again.  Three weeks later, I went to a different local clinic because I was still having difficulty breathing that had become worse.  I was given a breathing treatment, meds, prescriptions and more, and spent more money.  A few hours later, I ruined my daughters' evening with a call to them at a concert, telling them I needed to go to the ER.  I.  Could.  Not.  Breathe.

With my oxygen level at a dangerous 82%, I was admitted to the hospital that Saturday night.  At that point in time, I didn't care what they did with me.  I was exhausted from trying to breathe and my hands wouldn't stop shaking.  Yes, a hospital visit is expensive, and without insurance, something I wouldn't do on whim or much of anything else, but I didn't feel I had a choice.  I signed my name and gave my care up to the wonderful people at the hospital.

Tuesday evening I came home, breathing easily and able to walk from one room to the other without tiring or gasping for air.  In fact, on Wednesday, youngest daughter and oldest granddaughter and I went on a treasure hunt, hiking along an historical bridge, looking for a medallion.  I'm not only back to normal, I'm better than I was.  I've stopped smoking.  Again.  (Third time is charmed, right?)

I had a lot of time to think in the hospital.  When there's even the smallest chance that you might not take another breath, you start to see your life in a new way.  Have I done the things I want to do?  Am I ready to pass on to whatever is or isn't out there?  My answer was NO.  I got a whole lotta livin' to do.

Thank you to all my family and super friends, who stopped by to visit, brought me a shake from Sonic, some books, a tiny rose bush, a handmade glitter-pic and kept me smiling.  I am blessed to have you all in my life.  And there's more life coming.  Count on it. :)

Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows. ~ Pope Paul VI

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