MONDAY MUSINGS
There was a point in the past ten days when I wasn't sure I'd be here. This time last month, I was hit with what I thought was an asthma attack, something I haven't dealt with but a couple of times, and the most recent being four or five years ago.
A trip to a local pharmacy clinic netted me some meds and a bill that sucked up my quarterly royalties. Because I was locked out of healthcare.gov by some kind of glitch, I have no health insurance. Okay, I'm not whining. It happened to a lot of people and will be taken care of as time goes by. Until then, I'll do what I can and hope for the best.
The meds helped...for a while, then I felt worse, then a little better, then worse again. Three weeks later, I went to a different local clinic because I was still having difficulty breathing that had become worse. I was given a breathing treatment, meds, prescriptions and more, and spent more money. A few hours later, I ruined my daughters' evening with a call to them at a concert, telling them I needed to go to the ER. I. Could. Not. Breathe.
With my oxygen level at a dangerous 82%, I was admitted to the hospital that Saturday night. At that point in time, I didn't care what they did with me. I was exhausted from trying to breathe and my hands wouldn't stop shaking. Yes, a hospital visit is expensive, and without insurance, something I wouldn't do on whim or much of anything else, but I didn't feel I had a choice. I signed my name and gave my care up to the wonderful people at the hospital.
Tuesday evening I came home, breathing easily and able to walk from one room to the other without tiring or gasping for air. In fact, on Wednesday, youngest daughter and oldest granddaughter and I went on a treasure hunt, hiking along an historical bridge, looking for a medallion. I'm not only back to normal, I'm better than I was. I've stopped smoking. Again. (Third time is charmed, right?)
I had a lot of time to think in the hospital. When there's even the smallest chance that you might not take another breath, you start to see your life in a new way. Have I done the things I want to do? Am I ready to pass on to whatever is or isn't out there? My answer was NO. I got a whole lotta livin' to do.
Thank you to all my family and super friends, who stopped by to visit, brought me a shake from Sonic, some books, a tiny rose bush, a handmade glitter-pic and kept me smiling. I am blessed to have you all in my life. And there's more life coming. Count on it. :)
There was a point in the past ten days when I wasn't sure I'd be here. This time last month, I was hit with what I thought was an asthma attack, something I haven't dealt with but a couple of times, and the most recent being four or five years ago.
A trip to a local pharmacy clinic netted me some meds and a bill that sucked up my quarterly royalties. Because I was locked out of healthcare.gov by some kind of glitch, I have no health insurance. Okay, I'm not whining. It happened to a lot of people and will be taken care of as time goes by. Until then, I'll do what I can and hope for the best.
The meds helped...for a while, then I felt worse, then a little better, then worse again. Three weeks later, I went to a different local clinic because I was still having difficulty breathing that had become worse. I was given a breathing treatment, meds, prescriptions and more, and spent more money. A few hours later, I ruined my daughters' evening with a call to them at a concert, telling them I needed to go to the ER. I. Could. Not. Breathe.
With my oxygen level at a dangerous 82%, I was admitted to the hospital that Saturday night. At that point in time, I didn't care what they did with me. I was exhausted from trying to breathe and my hands wouldn't stop shaking. Yes, a hospital visit is expensive, and without insurance, something I wouldn't do on whim or much of anything else, but I didn't feel I had a choice. I signed my name and gave my care up to the wonderful people at the hospital.
Tuesday evening I came home, breathing easily and able to walk from one room to the other without tiring or gasping for air. In fact, on Wednesday, youngest daughter and oldest granddaughter and I went on a treasure hunt, hiking along an historical bridge, looking for a medallion. I'm not only back to normal, I'm better than I was. I've stopped smoking. Again. (Third time is charmed, right?)
I had a lot of time to think in the hospital. When there's even the smallest chance that you might not take another breath, you start to see your life in a new way. Have I done the things I want to do? Am I ready to pass on to whatever is or isn't out there? My answer was NO. I got a whole lotta livin' to do.
Thank you to all my family and super friends, who stopped by to visit, brought me a shake from Sonic, some books, a tiny rose bush, a handmade glitter-pic and kept me smiling. I am blessed to have you all in my life. And there's more life coming. Count on it. :)
Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows. ~ Pope Paul VI
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