Sixteen Candles

I was well past the age of 16 the first time I watched Sixteen Candles, but I still rank it in the top ten (or even five) of my favorite movies. We (my daughters and I) have seen this movie so many times, we know it line by line. I haven't watched it recently. I don't have it on DVD, but it tops the list to get next month when it will be (re)released. I chose it today because we were playing the movie game of Scene It, and one of our favorite scenes came up as a question. "Married?" "Married."

Average girl gets THE guy. Not just the guy she has a thing for, but THE guy. And what a guy! Jake is a dream. Not only is he a hunk and a half, but, except for his choice of "current" squeeze in the movie, he has some sense. He's growing up and seeing that a pretty face and a cute body do not a relationship make. It's clear that he has at least a slight interest in Samantha.

What's a girl to do when her parents forget her sixteenth birthday? Samantha's older sister is getting married, and the family has blown off, not only her birthday, but her very existence. And all she really wants is a little recognition of her day and Jake. But Jake is a senior and Sam only a mere Sophomore. It's an "in your dreams" kinda thing.

The dialogue is not only snappy, but priceless. The ultimate teen movie. And for romance lovers, it has that HEA (Happily Ever After) we all look for.

If you haven't seen this movie, you need to. It will take you back to the time of crushes and broken hearts. There's an underlying poignancy in each of the characters, not just Sam and Jake, but even the minor characters, The Geek, Long Duk Dong, and all the rest. John Hughes knows TEENS. Or at least he did with this and his other teen hits, The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink. (And, yes, Molly Ringwald was in each...one of the Brat Pack.) All are worth viewing more than once.

The Gold of Friendship

First, I'd like to congratulate my friend Lisa Childs on her upcoming October book, Always a Bride, and the Romantic Times Top Pick review! Always a Bride is the fourth and final book of her Wedding Party series for Harlequin American. And what a great series!

Today is my best friend's birthday. She will now be caught up with me, number-wise. After the age of thirty, birthdays become more of a nuisance than anything, reminding us that youth has been left far behind with bodies that were once more agile and less wrinkle-free than now. Sooner than we expect it, we hit the big 5-0 and then quickly move to the even bigger 6-0. Don't ask me why they're bigger. No one really cares after 30 anyway.

But with age comes wisdom. The mind stays alert, and we're still able to learn new things. We have the advantage of having learned from our mistakes, and even though mistakes can and will be made, they're fewer and less major. We don't tend to risk as much, and we expect people to accept us for who we are. Yes, even our family.

Another friend (Kathie DeNosky) sent me the following, and I'd like to share it. No matter what your age, whether perky 20's or the golden years of later, it says it all.

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother/father!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less grey hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with ageing.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love .. I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when some body's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, I don't mind being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GAIL! (And to Dr. Steve, too!)

Happy Birthday Time

It's hard to believe a year has gone by so quickly. My youngest grandson turned one-year-old yesterday, naturally prompting a family get-together and pictures. Because I couldn't decide on just which pic was best, I created a slideshow on Slide.com. He just wasn't quite sure what to do with that birthday cake! Hope you get a giggle out of it.

A Little Off-Topic...

I've just "outed" myself as a romance author on a local newspaper blog where I frequently post. I won't say where or what it is, because I admit that I'm not always as polite and generous as I should be when posting. It sometimes does get heated, and there's just no sense making someone reading here angry for a dumb reason. But my writing and publishing is not always something I want to make "public" in the sense that I go around telling people. For one thing, "romance" for some people means "smut". I don't agree, but everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I consider reading tastes--likes and dislikes--free choice. Read it if you like it, don't if you don't like it. I won't twist your arm to tell you about my books, but if you ask, I'll give you whatever information you want. Simple.

WHY I WRITE ROMANCE
I write romance because I like to READ romance. Not the sex, per se, although sex is often a part of romance and relationships, but because I like the uplifting feeling when two people have overcome odds and come together as a couple in love. It's that HEA (Happily Ever After) that will make me sniff with a happy tear or two, or sigh with the smile of satisfaction that comes from a well-written book, when all is said and done.

But I'm also a bit jaded. I know that what I write--what all romance authors write--is "fantasy". People don't meet, fall in love and so easily resolve whatever conflicts they might have in 80,000 words or less. Once the wedding and honeymoon are over, real life takes over, and we all must continue resolving conflicts throughout the rest of the relationship. Or hopefully resolve them, anyway. But it's nice to close the book, smile, and think maybe THIS one will make it, or maybe not even think of that at all, just revel in the enjoyment the story gave me.

While at Barnes & Noble buying books today, I was asked by the clerk who was checking me out if I was a writer. (When you're buying a How To Write Romance Book, written by a NY editor and a reference book on synonyms, it does raise the question!) Now, usually, I'll say yes and feel embarrassed. Today I added that, yes, I am, and that I write for Harlequin American. She said, "That's neat!" I said, "It's a job,". I smiled and shrugged. What I should have added was that it's a job I enjoy, and I feel tremendously blessed that my books have been chosen to to be published. It IS a dream, and one that I never thought was possible, and I'd be hard pressed to give it up. In fact, I don't think I ever could give it up, until my mind is completely toast and I don't have the faculties to put coherent words on paper. I believe most of my writer friends feel the same. We can't not write.

WHAT I LIKE TO READ
Well, I like to read romance. I also like to read True Crime. Horror. Biographies. Suspense. Historicals. Even Self-Help. And the list goes on. I'm an eclectic reader, although my oldest daughter is even more so than me. I like books that make me laugh, make me cry, make me think. Books that surprise me or make me feel at home within their pages. I LIKE BOOKS!!

Whatever you're currently reading--and I hope you ARE reading something!--I hope you're enjoying it, no matter what the genre. Reading is like stepping into another world. Books can take a reader places they have never and may never actually experience. Books can give a reader insight into his or her own life and maybe make things better. And as they say in the grade schools, READING IS FUN! I'll just add, TRY SOME TODAY!

Love and Hugs to all the readers out there, no matter what your taste!

A Must See Movie

When The Bucket List came out on video, I wasn't sure whether to buy it for my collection or not. I didn't. It was a bad decision.

I expected Morgan Freeman to be good, and I like Jack Nicholson, although I feel Jack plays "Jack" in every role. I was surprised to discover he went beyond himself in this movie, and it was more than worth sitting down for the 97 minutes of thought-provoking enjoyment it gave me. It's more than a movie about two older men, more than a movie about dying. It's a movie about dreams and joy and taking a look at your life and daring to take the risk to do the things you've always wanted to do. But when you have 6 months to live, how big is the risk? It can be big.

Whether you do it tonight, whether you do it in a few months, see this movie.

Friendship

It would be almost impossible to get through life without friends. No, it would be impossible. Friends are the sunshine of my life. They're there when I need a shoulder to cry on, advice, or to share the latest joy. I hope I do the same for them. I try.

With the advent of the internet, friendship has taken a new direction. When I was in school, I had several pen pals. Remember them? A few were former classmates I kept in touch with after moving to a new town, another was in Alaska, and there was another in the Netherlands. I thought my world was broadened as much as possible! I was wrong. Now I have friends all over the U.S. and the world, and at the click of a button--and without sticking on a stamp--it's almost like being there.

Without email and the internet, I don't know if I'd be writing, and since I love writing, that wouldn't be good. The internet put me in touch with others who had the same dreams and goals. Kathie DeNosky (Desire author) was one of the first writers I met online. It didn't take us long to become friends. We're both crazy as loons! We met in person in Dallas, TX at RWA's national conference in 1996 and not only became critique partners, but the very best of friends.

A group of writing friends began to form and grow. In 2001, half a dozen writer friends created a Yahoo group to stay in touch. We called ourselves the Ditzy Chix, the name saying it all. Our numbers have increased and decreased in the seven years since then, but we're staying steady at ten now. All of us live in the eastern half of the U.S. Except for Bronwyn Jameson, our favorite Aussie. We're always there for each other to share the triumphs and defeats of life, and although we've never all been able to get together at one time in person, it doesn't change our friendships. If you'd like to get to know my friends better (and who wouldn't!), you can check us all out on the Ditzy Chix website. You may find you already "know" some of us. Feel free to drop us an email to say hi. We love hearing from new (and old!) friends!

Email: The next best thing to being there.

Back to Back-to-School

It's here! The first day of a new school year. Okay, last Thursday was officially the first day here, but it's now sinking in, and I'm already loving it!

Earlier this morning, I blogged on the HAR blog about my fondest memory of my daughters' first day of school, when my then youngest Chelsea (#3) cried from disappointment when rain and flooding kept her from going to school that first day of kindergarten. Things have changed. We no longer have to drive fifteen miles (20 minutes) to school from our home on the farm. It's a quick less-than-ten-minute trip to school and back to take and bring the oldest granddaughter--now in first grade!--and on city streets, not muddy country roads.

I spent yesterday getting lined out for the year, cleaning my office and moving the baby's playpen where he takes his naps into my bedroom, giving him more floor room for crawling and climbing and playing. I like to keep him close by to be sure all is well. I can't say the office is still in the best of shape, but it's getting there, and I'll continue to do little by little, filing papers and sorting and tossing, probably until the end of time.

What I should have been doing is writing, or more correctly, editing, on a book due October 1. I'm excited about both books that will hopefully be coming out sometime next year. These stories were begun ten years ago and have gone through several incarnations during that time, searching for the right words and the right home. But this second, with the working title of Taming Kate, has always been one of my favorites, and I'm excited to finally know I'll be seeing it in print soon.

This year the oldest grandson will be starting pre-K, and I'm especially eager to see how he does. The two older girls are now in first grade and all-day kindergarten, and the younger of them will be riding the bus from home. It still means three trips of dropping off and picking up, but I should be used to that. We did that daily throughout the week each school year when my girls were little, until they were all finally in school full days. At least the trip to school and back is now much shorter! When I stop long enough to think about it, that was a long time ago, and they've all grown up to be wonderful young women, two of them with children of their own. How very blessed I am!

I've always loved the beginning of the school year. I especially remember the year, probably first grade, when I had a book bag, packed and ready at least a week before school started with new pencils and crayons. It wasn't a backpack like kids use now, but a satchel. Blue plaid, as I remember, with buckles and pockets and zippers. And new clothes to go with it! Each year, through fifth or sixth grade, my parents took movies (those old 8mm kind) of me walking down the porch steps and out to the car on the first day. Maybe soon I'll find those movies and watch them, laughing at the clumsy nine-year-old pigtailed and bespectacled girl, tripping (literally) down the steps while she carried the family daschund with her to climb into the big blue Chevy station wagon.

I always looked forward to that first day each year, not only the early years, but throughout all thirteen. There's something about school starting that was exciting. Maybe it was the promise of something new happening (boys!) and time spent all day with friends, in class, on the playground, and walking the halls between classes. I dont' remember that "learning" had all that much to do with it, but there was some of that, too. It was a time of freshness, of new beginnings, and it carried over even when my own girls had their first days and to now with the grandkids.

So today and for many days following, I'll have a smile on my face, remembering those special days, when being young meant the excitement of a new school year and the special times it promised. I hope my grandkids have the same happy memories, just as my daughters and I do.

Happy Back To School!

Changes

I'd planned to keep up with my blogging schedule this week, but life doesn't always go as we plan. I should have known. This week has been stressful in several ways.

School started in our neck of the woods yesterday. With 3 grandkids now in school, we'll be doing some choreography and making sure the calendar keeps updated so nobody is forgotten or ends up at school on a NO school day. For instance, oldest granddaughter's first day of first grade was yesterday. Other granddaughter's first day of kindergarten (all-day) is today, but she didn't have to go yesterday, nor will she go on Monday. Oldest grandson will start Pre-K on the 25th (the day after his baby brother's first birthday), skip a day, then start going full time on the 27th. It won't take us long to get in the groove, and I've learned to set the alarm on my cell phone to remind me it's time to leave to take or pick up one or the other. By October, it'll be automatic. I hope. :)

It's official. I have asthma, and it's been kicking my butt. Monday wasn't bad at all, and I thought all would be well. Wrong. It's been bad since Tuesday, and I went to Immediate Care (again) today to be told this will now be ongoing. No fair. Except for earaches as a child, I've been healthy. Getting older is the pits. :(

Quick updates: I'm about to finish reading Kristin Hannah's Summer Island. It's been great for taking my mind off not being able to breathe, so way to go, Kristin! No movies lately. I'm on a book deadline, so evenings must be spent writing. Reading books gets wedged in there when possible. There hasn't been time for fun, and only a small bit for friends, which will be fixed soon. All in all, things are normal here. :) I hope things are normal (or even wonderfully extraordinary!) for youo and yours.

Not A Movie, But...

On a lark and needing a fix for some comedy, I bought the first season of Mork & Mindy. I'm glad I did, because time hasn't changed what's funny.

For anyone not familiar with Mork & Mindy, this television sitcom rocketed comedian Robin Williams to stardom. It debuted in 1978 and co-starred Pam Dawber. The comedy is timeless and pure Robin Williams.

Wikipedia says this:

It became famous for Williams' use of his manic improvisational comedic talent. Williams would make up so many jokes during filming, the scripts eventually had specific gaps where Williams was allowed to perform freely. In many scenes, Pam Dawber had to bite her lip to avoid laughing and
ruining the filming.

I don't plan to buy more seasons. This will keep me smiling for a long time.

San Francisco and the Ditzy Chix

Although I would have loved to have visited San Francisco again (it's been over 30 years!), the cost of airfare, hotel, and time just wasn't within my budget, so I wasn't able to attend RWA's annual conference this year. Of course that didn't stop those of the Ditzy Chix who did attend. Thanks to technology, those who stayed home and those who didn't were able to keep in contact via a phone call or two and email. The one thing they agreed on was that San Francisco can be cold in August!


Those Ditzy Chix who were able to attend were (in photo at right) Carol Stephenson, Bronwyn Jameson, Lisa Childs, Kristi Gold, and (not in photo) Roxanne Rustand. There are a few more photos from SF or check out all the photos from past conferences.


And for an extra special treat, visit Carol Stephenson's blog for a photo journal of Napa Valley and a hot air balloon ride!

Movie or Book First?

I'm sure everyone deals with this dilemma once in a while. A good book (a GREAT book) comes out, shortly followed by the movie. Or maybe a good movie comes out, and you learn the story was originally a book.

Because I'm still reading The First Wives Club after watching the movie...again...I started thinking about all the movies I've seen and have also read the book. I admit that it used to bother me, as if it was a RULE that I had to choose which was better. And to tell the truth, most of the time the book wins out. But sometimes I can't choose, and so there's a tie.

An example of a tie would be Gone With the Wind. I saw the movie for the first time in high school (196?) and loved it. I read the book much later and loved it. I can't pick between the two, because both are excellent and offer different things. For instance, I can't imagine anyone playing any of those roles except the actors/actresses who did them. But if I'd read the book first, without knowing anything about the movie, I wonder how I would have imagined the characters. I doubt Rhett would have resembled Clark Gable in my mind. :)

And that's really the question. Is it better to see the movie first or read the book first? In most cases of book-turned-movie, I've read the book first. GWTW and To Kill a Mockingbird are two exceptions, and with both, I can't choose which is better. I assume most readers are like me and have a picture in their mind of what the characters look like. When a movie is made, there's no way to match the mental pictures of the millions of readers. Tom Hanks would never have been my choice for Robert Langdon in the Da Vinci Code, even when I tried to envision him while I read the book a second time before I saw the movie. But he did a good job and I was able to forget my prejudice during the movie.

Then there are all the things that are left out or changed when the movie is made, usually because of time restrictions. My youngest daughter is a Harry Potter fan and has her own opinions on the more recent movies. Because I've only read the first of the HP books, I don't have the problems she has when seeing the movie. She's noticing all the things that are "wrong" or not there. I'm just watching the movie and trying to make heads or tails of a few things. But she's never turned down the opportunity to see the movie. :)

So which is it? Movie first or book first? You choose.

Am I Losing My Mind?

My youngest daughter was diagnosed with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) a few years ago. It was a relief to finally have an answer to why she had so much trouble attending school, even though she really wanted to, and unable to deal with new situations or even go shopping without somone she knew and trusted being with her. Because of her GAD and the panic attacks that go with it, we've been searching and searching for a way for her to finish earning her high school diploma without going the GED route and without costing a small fortune.

We finally found it this summer when I heard an ad on the radio for Insight School. It's an accredited online school, currently available to students in seven states, where she'll earn the credits she needs for graduation and a real diploma, just as if she were in a traditional school. The fun but also difficult part was choosing the courses she would be taking, starting this fall. Besides the usual core subjects required, she needed several electives, and she wanted to take a foreign language. Her choices were Spanish, French, Latin, and Mandarin Chinese. Yes, you read that right. Mandarin Chinese.

I've taken both Spanish and French, but am probably more familiar with French, so that would have been my first choice. Besides, I like the way it sounds. :) She wasn't so sure she wanted to do that, so I suggested Latin might be a good choice, since most Romance languages (French, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese) are Latin-based, as are many English words and science words. She agreed.

She agreed?! Oh, my! While I could have helped her some with Spanish or French, I'm not all that familiar with Latin. Okay, I did attend Mass as a child when it was still spoken in Latin, and I might recognize a word or two, but I don't consider that much of an education. I guess I'll be learning Latin, right along with her. But maybe that isn't such a bad thing. It won't hurt me to stretch my brain a little. Or a LOT.

If you live in Kansas, Colorado, Nevada, California, Minnesota, Oregon, or Wisconsin and are looking for an alternative to traditional schooling for your high school student, you might want to look into Insight. I'll continue to blog now and then about this new adventure and keep readers updated on how it's working out.

Have a GREAT week!

Harlequin American Romance - August

If Home, Family, and Romance is your cup of tea, you should be reading Harelquin American Romance.

First Wives Club Part Deux

Yesterday I mentioned that I'd read The First Wives Club before the movie came out. Copyright on the book is 1992, while the movie came out in 1998. This can lead into a discussion on which is better, to read the book first or to see the movie first, but that will come at a later date and time. :)

If you've seen the movie and decide to read the book, expecting to find them much the same (as much as that can or can't be), you'll be disappointed. They're almost two different stories. I happen to like both. But before I go on, I need to say that I haven't finished this (second) reading of the book, and am only half-way through it. My memory of the first read is definitely hazy, so I'll focus today on the first half of the book.

Annie, Elisa, and Brenda attended a private boarding school in NY as girls. They weren't necessarily all good friends, but the recent suicide of one of their former classmates, a girl they all were close to, brings them together again. Each, including the deceased, has gone through or is going through a separation or divorce from her husband and each is struggling in her own way with this. The reader can see how well or poorly each is dealing with all that's involved in a divorce, whether it's emotional, financial, or social. Mid-way, the women decide it's time they get some justice where their divorces and husbands are concerned. These women are smart and savvy, and although this all might feel like "getting even", it isn't just that. It's about the growth of each one of them, individually and as a group of friends who find that, although they're different, they share some many of the same problems and emotions.

Annie deals with how best to care for her Downs Syndrome teenage daughter and her two grown sons. Elise deals with a career she left behind for a husband and with aging in a business that tends to look up to youth and beauty. And Brenda deals with being overweight and a husband who has hidden marital assets and left her to struggle financially.

The book, is a darker and more emotional story than the movie, but in my opinion, it's equally as good. It's a complex story of women moving forward after divorce, and taking care of the baggage that led them to it, both their baggage and that of their husbands...and maybe even their husbands! It's not only a look at divorce, but at marriage and the relationships between men and women.

It's an excellent and well written book and definitely worth reading. But if you've seen the movie, the hardest part is separating the two and letting yourself immerse yourself in the story the book tells.

Note: There was an interesting article in New Yorker about the author and her death...the result of plastic surgery, a recurring theme in her books.